Smile it's Mark Twain

Don't part with your illusions. When they are gone you may still exist, but you have ceased to live.

God created war so that Americans would learn geography.

I've lived through some terrible things in my life, some of which actually happened.

What would men be without women? Scarce, sir...mighty scarce.

Education: the path from cocky ignorance to miserable uncertainty.

Life is short, Break the Rules. Forgive quickly, Kiss SLOWLY. Love truly. Laugh uncontrollably And never regret ANYTHING That makes you smile.

The worst loneliness is to not be comfortable with yourself.

The right word may be effective, but no word was ever as effective as a rightly timed pause.

When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it's a sure sign you're getting old.

The most interesting information comes from children, for they tell all they know and then stop.

The man who is a pessimist before 48 knows too much; if he is an optimist after it, he knows too little.

Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times.

The only man I know who behaves sensibly is my tailor: he takes my measurements anew each time he sees me. The rest go on with their old measurements and expect me to fit them.