A mishmash of thoughts, directionless, waiting for the right words to give them a form. I am an unorganized person, thriving in it too, and so are my thoughts. It takes me twice the time than that of a normal person to organize my file- to put the papers in right order and as for my closets - and house, the less said the better. Yet there is a madness in the order. Just like the beautiful wild flowers growing- not color coordinated, but still not out of place.
As you grow older, and hopefully you get some insights into your being, you learn to accept the traits that will not change. I gave up trying to reduce weight, when I realized I have been trying to do so albeit half-heartedly, for decades. You cross 40s and there is this freedom, freedom of just being who you are, warts, and quirks and all. I have changed, but I have given fighting who I am at an intrinsic level.
We are all defective- weird in our own small ways. And we seek companionship in people who will recognize us for what we really are. Someone, who can look through our broken beings, and accept us. There is no meaning to life without connections. Our purpose in life might be different, our values in life might differ, yet we need a human contact to make life real.
I am an extreme introvert, put me in a party and I am looking for escape routes - literally. Yet even for someone like me, a stimulating conversation, a warm smile and genuine concern is what makes my day. A good conversation - a spirited exchange of thoughts, of words leading to a stimulating discussion still gives me a high. A perfect conversation is effortless and smooth. Your words are allowed to flow at the same pace as your thoughts. No pause, no boosters, topics linked like the cars of a train - chugging at a rhythmic pace. Some days the voices n my head get lonely, they want to be heard, to share. Life is too short to stay isolated. People, friends and adversaries, toxic and healthy make us what we are. Human beings need each other. We need to love and be loved. This need transcends all barriers, color, age, religion and this is our strength as well as our weakness as humans.
As you grow older, and hopefully you get some insights into your being, you learn to accept the traits that will not change. I gave up trying to reduce weight, when I realized I have been trying to do so albeit half-heartedly, for decades. You cross 40s and there is this freedom, freedom of just being who you are, warts, and quirks and all. I have changed, but I have given fighting who I am at an intrinsic level.
We are all defective- weird in our own small ways. And we seek companionship in people who will recognize us for what we really are. Someone, who can look through our broken beings, and accept us. There is no meaning to life without connections. Our purpose in life might be different, our values in life might differ, yet we need a human contact to make life real.
I am an extreme introvert, put me in a party and I am looking for escape routes - literally. Yet even for someone like me, a stimulating conversation, a warm smile and genuine concern is what makes my day. A good conversation - a spirited exchange of thoughts, of words leading to a stimulating discussion still gives me a high. A perfect conversation is effortless and smooth. Your words are allowed to flow at the same pace as your thoughts. No pause, no boosters, topics linked like the cars of a train - chugging at a rhythmic pace. Some days the voices n my head get lonely, they want to be heard, to share. Life is too short to stay isolated. People, friends and adversaries, toxic and healthy make us what we are. Human beings need each other. We need to love and be loved. This need transcends all barriers, color, age, religion and this is our strength as well as our weakness as humans.
