Change of perspective

“Silverfish looked down.
"Oh. Are you a dwarf?"
Cuddy gave him a blank stare.
"Are you a giant?" He said.
"Me? Of course not!"
"Ah. Then I must be a dwarf, yes.” 
― Terry Pratchett
Attitude is how you react towards life - positive and full of gratitude or negative and bitter - life is unfair attitude. There is another aspect to life , an aspect that took me a long time to realize, it is the perspective of life. Life as we see it, relationships as we perceive it. Every object, every relationship, everything in life is based on how we perceive it  A house from 1000 feet above is going to look different. A calm lake or the soothing sound of ocean will be different from the shores than when you actually dive into it. An object under microscope is going to give you a totally different view.

Truth is  based on our perception. If we take ourselves too seriously, every slight?, every rejection will seem like end of the world. Life can be lived like a tourist - just enjoy the good parts.. after all we are just passerby, or lived like the locals... the choice is ours.

I have always had a serious  perspective of life - yes diving deep to find meanings in the depths, always ending up thought gasping for breath with nothing in hand. I have decided to change my perspective and live life- maybe on the shorelines, maybe just distancing myself and consciously be selective about the vantage points.

I want to look at life from upside down perspective - head over heals. Maybe I have been looking at it wrong all this time. Maybe we are all meant to look at it at from a viewpoint that makes us laugh... after all who knows what the truth is - and who cares. People can either be ignorant and happy or seek the truth and search for meaning and be unhappy.

So here I am - making a resolution - I am sure it is a New Year celebration somewhere in the world, to try and look at life from different perspective and same react with the same attitude of gratitude.

Glimpses of life

Hundreds of stories of joy, or success, failures and resilience. One of the best parts about my job is being a fleeting audience in the life stories of strangers. Some stories sear through your heart, others you empathize, and there few which although  beyond my comprehension, helps me peek into the human psyche. Some conversations teach you lessons that change you.

There are several lessons I have learnt from the many lives that have touched mine and compelled me in many ways to view the world with changed perspective.
1. Time is a great healer - we all find ways to cope with our grief. We live on with broken heart, some don't mend forever - yet we tie the ends and march on.
2.There is not a single soul on this earth who has not faced loss. How you react to what happens to you, is what develops your character, not what happens to you.Skip bitterness and anger and you will be rewarded with a heart filled with empathy and kindness.
3.It is never too late to walk on the path you always wanted to. If you don't limit yourself , life is yours for taking.
4. If you have people in your life who love you unconditionally - hold on to them. There are too many lonely hearts out there.
5. Be kind to all that cross your path, you never know if  you will meet them again.
6. Smile is the silent language of love and respect and a stronger communicator than words.
7. We all want the same things in life, all of us... love, health, wealth, adventure, family... if you have even two of these things in your life.. consider yourself lucky.
8. There are too many tragedies out there, every eyes has a story to tell. Listen and learn - they are all there to teach you a lesson in life and don't forget to be thankful for all that you have in life.

Finally I have learnt that resilience is what we need to keep on living -  because life doesn't stop.

Anxiety Monster

“Our anxiety does not come from thinking about the future, but from wanting to control it.”
― Kahlil Gibran

I was always under that illusion that I am strong person - that is till life started happening to me, breaking down the shell of toughness and exposing the fragile person susceptible to pain and loss. I changed- the optimistic, can conquer the world attitude evaporating into a "I can't fight it anymore. " person. Maybe it is just middle age, maybe hormonal changes or maybe I was always fragile but never knew it.

It comes, just like a drifting  cloud blocking the sun - just out of nowhere... again . The anxiety monster showing its fangs once again. It catches you unawares, and throws you off the track. The blood thirsty fangs sucking out your energy and living you scrambling for breath..Your breathing gets heavier - not in the sexy kind of way, and you can physically feel the pain in your shoulders and chest.

Where does it come from - I am not sure, but the experience can be literally nerve wrecking. I am fine one moment  and  next thing I know,  the gates of all negative energy open and come rushing in to overwhelm me.Obviously it has always been with me, leashed and hidden in the throes of my subconscious.

The issue that most people don't understand is that it is not what I want - it is not what I control. At times it takes days to build up, my mind all clouded with negative thoughts culminating in a panic attack and other times it wins me over with surprise . The trigger need not always be something of prime importance, it is just that when you are anxious, every small problem is magnified and distorted to monstrous proportions.

I am learning to deal with it - accepting that it is part of my personality to take life seriously. Being a logical person, I usually try and find a reason for my mood swings and of course being a woman helps, the fluctuations in hormones are always there to take the burn. Feeling helpless and out of control is not a place I like to be in.

I have to learn to  take life less seriously - to just let go and maybe it is time to get back into faith? Maybe having some sort of semblance and superpower backing will help me in dealing with setbacks that get magnified to disasters?

I am dealing with it - time to time - aware that it is lurking in the  dark, waiting for me to be weak to attack. Yet I know that in the end that that this too shall pass. I just need to have courage to be patient and wait for the clouds to pass to reveal the sun. I know the clouds will come again , but so long as I have the patience and wisdom to know that it cannot stay for ever - nothing does ... I shall be fine.

Celebrating Love

“You know you're in love when you can't fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams.”
― Dr. Seuss

“I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where. I love you simply, without problems or pride: I love you in this way because I do not know any other way of loving but this, in which there is no I or you, so intimate that your hand upon my chest is my hand, so intimate that when I fall asleep your eyes close.”
― Pablo Neruda, 100 Love Sonnets

“Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage.”
― Laozi

“There is nothing I would not do for those who are really my friends. I have no notion of loving people by halves, it is not my nature.”
― Jane Austen, Northanger Abbey

“To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact you must give it to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements. Lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket, safe, dark, motionless, airless, it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. To love is to be vulnerable.”
― C.S. Lewis, The Four Loves

“I love you as certain dark things are to be loved,
in secret, between the shadow and the soul.”
― Pablo Neruda, 100 Love Sonnets

“Every heart sings a song, incomplete, until another heart whispers back. Those who wish to sing always find a song. At the touch of a lover, everyone becomes a poet.”
― Plato