5 tips to save your marriage in bad economy

Financial Repercussions on Relationships




In my earlier blog, I had written about how healthy finances relates to healthy relations. In today’s economic times, where so many of us are weathering the rough climate, even the healthiest and strongest of bonding is tested by lack of money.



I don’t believe you have to be rolling in moolah for a relationship to thrive, but it definitely does help when you don’t have to worry about how you are going to pay your next bill. The sickening feeling of checking your mail box for bills, the endless wait for the situation to improve can take toll on any relationship.



We all have different comfort zones, different perceptions about what is essential and needed and what is superfluous and lack of funds puts the spot light on this dissimilarity. While it might be easy for one partner to live frugally, the cutback may take a toll on the other partner. And before you know it, the ugly face of distrust is casting its shadow on the relationship. The temptation of financial infidelity, the roaring urge to blame the hopelessness of the situation on each other can be a challenge that not all couples can deal with. As a couple there are some steps that you can take to sustain the relationship.



1. Sit and talk: It is definitely not as painless as it sounds. The talk can be very uncomfortable and very soon turn into an argument and the key is to avoid arguments ruling over the issue.

2. Be realistic and set a goal: It is very important that both partners know how they plan to survive the setback. Accepting that you have a problem on hand, will make it easier to find a solution. Be sure to be on the same page.

3. Be kind: It is not easy to sail through rough weathers. The tendency to blame each other for the mess is likely. The key is to remember to listen and show kindness to the flaws that emerge. We all have the dark side of personalities hidden, the side we are aware only when times get tough. You will see personality traits of each other, which you didn’t know existed.

4. Communicate: Like all successful partnerships, it is imperative to keep all your communication lines open. It takes a lot to cheer up your partner, when you are bogged down with anxiety about tomorrow. Yet, that is what commitment in long-term relationships is about, supporting each other.

5. Be honest about your fears and hopes. Hopes get dimmer as time passes and that is your test.



Life has its challenges, and loss of job translates into a loss of lifestyle known to you. But like everything in life, times change, and the key to remember as a couple is that you are both on the same side of the fence.

5 traits that make life an easy sail

5 Qualities that make life an easy sail





1. Humor: Laughter is the best medicine. I am not talking about the social laughs, but the tears rolling down your cheek, uncontrollable laughter. Life is tough, but we can make it easier if we tickled our funny bone often. Humor is different for everyone – (honestly, I don’t laugh easy), for some it comes easy or others not so. I admire people who can see the light (er) side in every dark situation.

2. Taking yourself or others too seriously: The problems in life start when you believe that you are center of universe. Laughing at others is fine, but being able to laugh at self is priceless. Lighten up, the problems are there, and once they are done, there will be other challenges. The trick is to believe in the mortality of the situation and yourself too.

3. Believe that you are perfect: The happiest people I have seen are those who don’t sit and analyze their flaws and mistakes. They are the confident people (arrogant to others), who are never wrong, so never have the feeling of guilt, regret or self-doubt. Life is definitely easy when you have learnt the art of blaming others and seeing self with rose colored glasses.

4. Love: Surround yourself with things to love. It needn’t be just nature or animals, it can be a car, food, hobby anything that excites you. And applying the adage if you love someone set it free – applies to material stuff too – love them unconditionally whether you possess them or not.

5. Set your own rules: Often we are ruled by the guidelines set by others about what is expected of you. It takes a lot of courage and independence to set your own signposts of success stories. When we are secure enough in our being and appreciate our worth, no one can make you feel like a failure and no setback can bring your belief in yourself down.

5 tips to improve your relationships

1. Every healthy relation is based on the balance of give and take.The seeds of discontent is set when you perceive you give more than you receive. Communicate this to your partner, before it grows into an uncontrollable weed.

2. Expectations : Set realistic expectations. The more you expect, the more the chances of disappointment . This is not to say to, have no expectations, just be realistic and be flexible , because time changes, we change and circumstances change too.

3. Blind trust will only bring grief on you . Trust, but with your eyes open.

4Love, respect and honesty and communication  : are the foundation on which a relationship is based on. Love is what love does. You can say all you want, but actions definitely speak louder than words. Respect in a relationship means respecting each others views, freedom and space.  As for honesty, if you can't be who you are with each other, the relationship is doomed.

5.Healthy finance = healthy relationship. Money matters a lot in a relationship.Love definitely is easier in good times.



For a relationship to thrive, you also have to understand that all relationships have their shares of ups and downs. Even the seemingly perfect couples, happy and content, have been through rough patches. Don't let what "should be" cloud your judgment about what you have.

Meanings of Flowers

Acacia: Secret Love, Beauty in Retirement
Amaryllis: Splendid Beauty, Pride
Anemone: Symbol of Love, Daintiness
Bachelor Button: Celibacy
Bells of Ireland: Good Luck
Bluebell: Humility, Constancy
Calla Lily: Beauty
Camellia: Admiration, Perfection,
Carnation: Fascination, Admiration, (White) Pure and Ardent Love
Chrysanthemum: With Love, Cheerfulness and Optimism, Wonderful Friend
Crocus: Cheerfulness
Daffodil: You're the only one
Daisy: Loyal, Love Innocence
Forget-Me-Not: True Love, Memories
Gardenia: Secret Love
Gladiolus: Love at First Sight
Heather: Admiration

7 Universal Truths

7 Universal truths




It is a paradox, but truth can be distorted intentionally or unintentionally. It is all a matter of perception. Right from the moment we are born, we are influenced by people surrounding us, their opinions, their perceptions about life and other people. It is almost impossible for anyone to be detached and unaffected by other people in their life. Our moral beliefs, our religious beliefs are tainted by what we have learnt over the years in our growing years. Until and unless you are aware of the pre-conceived notions that you are carrying within you, whatever you learn as an adult is just masking up your learnt behavior in childhood.



Yet there are some truths that are so universal that they transcend all the concepts that are instilled in us.



1. Death is inevitable and unpredictable. When we are aware of our own fragile existence, we set our priorities differently. We are appreciative of each and every opportunity to smile.

2. Life is beautiful: There are times when the hell in our minds, raises the questions about whether life is worth it. Yet, the truth is life is beautiful. Life is not just you or what happens to you, it is the whole pulsating, living and ever evolving universe.

3. Money matters: This is one truth which I have denied for a long time. I know in many spiritual books, money is considered the root for all evils, yet the truth remains, money is a very important aspect in leading a happy life.

4. Love gives joy and pain: I am not talking just about romantic love, but love for your children, friends, and family. Love is beautiful , in fact life is love, yet just like life it is foolish t o expect to only give you glorious bliss. When someone you love is hurt, you hurt more. I have met mothers who have loved and lost their kids, and the pain in their eyes is heart-wrenching.

5. There are no guarantees in life: Life doesn’t come with guarantees or warranties. Your survival depends on how fast and well you adapt to change.

6. The more you have the more you fear: Isn’t this true? Remember the time as a child when you had no possessions, you had no fear. Fear paralyzes us from living a full life.

7. Life is not fair: The sooner we accept this, the better our lives will be. I have never met a person who hasn’t been short-changed in life at some point in their life.

Stop worrying, Start Praying.

In the past few years, in my quest for peace of mind, I have been reading lots of self-help books. Books that claim to resolve all your issues, books that have the mantra for you to lead a fulfilled life. In my search (and I am still searching), for a formula that will change my life around and magically turn me over to a new leaf, I have realized that basically all that is there is out there is a recycled material.

I have struggled with the concept of God, rebelled against the stringent rules of organized religion and the repercussions of not fitting into a particular mold. It is said, everything comes back to a full circle. These days, I am going back to my roots, learning to let go “thinking” and surrendering to the will of Higher Power - God /universe.



If you have read “The Secret” and “the Power”, the basic concept is to believe that you will get what you want. If this is not faith then what is? You can only believe when you that there is some power superior, unseen and unknown looking after you. I understand the concept of positive thinking, but isn’t that the same as prayer? What do you do when you pray – you place your conviction in that higher power to resolve issues that at the time seems insurmountable.



When I have faith, just the thought that I am being protected empowers me to try and reach the stars. Faith, prayer, gratitude and good karma are the four pillars to lead a life that will weather all the storms. Faith is the power that gives you the light of hope in the darkness of your life, prayer is the guiding moon, gratitude is the reflection of the moon and good karma is the path you know is paved and safe and will keep you safe till the dawn brings shines its rays of light on you.

Organize your thoughts

It is scary how much you turn like your mother as you grow older. I remember, mom always losing stuff and spending hours searching for it. Never did in my wildest dreams, did I imagine, turning into a copy of her.

Scattered brain – the by-product of growing older or maybe taking on added responsibilities, whatever be the case it’s affect on the memory and effectiveness is debatable.


There are millions of thoughts racing around in your brain, mostly things to do list, worries about finances, health. Sometimes you feel overwhelmed and the thoughts take over your very being. Steps to organize your thoughts and take control over your life:



1. If you are in a rush – slow down. It sounds contradictory, but works. Stop and take deep breaths a couple of times.


2. Give your thoughts a form by jotting down all your worries, all your to do list in concrete black and white words .When you actually see what you think, it makes your thinking process clearer.


3. Sift through your writings, and purge the one’s that are imaginary and created by your fear. Be realistic and break down the goals and your thoughts according to priority.


4. Write down your most important appointments in red on the calendar, your children’s activities in blue, your monthly bills due dates in green,school events in black, any family events like baby shower , weddings, dinners in purple. Codifying for to do list this way will break it down and simplify your thought. Keep the calendar visible, so that all family members are aware of what is going on, it will be easier to add an event if needed, without double or triple booking.


5. Take stock of all that you have been able to accomplish. Rewarding yourself for your things done and your past achievements is a great motivator. It’s hard to work for yourself or others without incentives.


Now, sit back and enjoy the clarity and the joys of organized thoughts.
























































Now, sit back and enjoy the clarity and the joys of organized thoughts.












































Organized thoughts:




It is scary how much you turn like your mother as you grow older. I remember, mom always losing stuff and spending hours searching for it. Never did in my wildest dreams, did I imagine, turning into a copy of her.

Scattered brain – the by-product of growing older or maybe taking on added responsibilities, whatever be the case it’s affect on the memory and effectiveness is debatable.

There are millions of thoughts racing around in your brain, mostly things to do list, worries about finances, health. Sometimes you feel overwhelmed and the thoughts take over your very being. Steps to organize your thoughts and take control over your life:



1. If you are in a rush – slow down. It sounds contradictory, but works. Stop and take deep breaths a couple of times.

2. Give your thoughts a form by jotting down all your worries, all your to do list in concrete black and white words .When you actually see what you think, it makes your thinking process clearer.

3. Sift through your writings, and purge the one’s that are imaginary and created by your fear. Be realistic and break down the goals and your thoughts according to priority.

4. Write down your most important appointments in red on the calendar, your children’s activities in blue, your monthly bills due dates in green,

school events in black, any family events like baby shower , weddings, dinners in purple. Codifying for to do list this way will break it down and simplify your thought. Keep the calendar visible, so that all family members are aware of what is going on, it will be easier to add an event if needed, without double or triple booking.

5. Take stock of all that you have been able to accomplish. Rewarding yourself for your things done and your past achievements is a great motivator. It’s hard to work for yourself or others without incentives.



Now, sit back and enjoy the clarity and the joys of organized thoughts.

5 Secrets to a picture perfect house

I have one teenager and one pre-teen boy and because I was raised in a house where, things were picked up after you (India –where are maids are affordable), my sons are not too regimented. I am often amazed at how things end up where they do like for instance, when I am cleaning the house on the weekend, I will find TV remote inside the sides of the couch, pencils, erasers under the table, sock under the couch you get the picture, and papers –tons of loose ones, some flyers, some notices from school and the much hated junk mails. And not to speak of tons of shoes, just when you enter the house, in spite of having a closet and shoe rack to keep them. Some are mine and some “blessings”, neighborhood kids just hanging out!



I have been to houses that always look like they are show homes, absolutely clean and organized. The boys – including my husband, dread the “lecture “ about how the house was so much cleaner and neater than us and how everyone has to pitch in . I am not even sure if anyone listens to it anymore.



The fact remains that, I would rather have pairs of worn out shoes of different sizes greeting me, than a perfect foyer with exquisite artifact hanging on the walls. Yet, whenever I visit a perfectly organized house, I wish for my house to be picture perfect too.



Although my house is still not perfect – it never will, I am sharing some of the observations that compile the secret of a well-organized house.



1. Everyone in the family pitches in EQUALLY. This includes the kids, and the husband and all other members of the family. This is definitely not a one army show.

2. Jackets in cloakroom, shoes on shoe rack and plates in dishwasher – it is as simple as it sounds. All follow the rules of the house and use the garage to come in unlike my house, where the doors are open for all and an occasional run up the stairs is overlooked.

3. Train the kids when they are very young and be consistent, till the task becomes a habit. It’s too late for my house.

4. Plan your meals and limit your daily cooking to simple foods and stick to it. I can at times go crazy in the kitchen and end up cooking for 2 hours. At the end of two hours, I am too tired to clean up well and not to forget the disorganized pantry.

5. Most of my friends who are well-organized, also have help from outside sources like maids too – some regularly, some occasionally. Nothing like the good old strong scrub to sparkle your home.

Damage control

Everything is wonderful in theory, but putting it in practice comes with unexpected challenges that  test the very core of all that you have known to be true. Life is volatile, every moment new situations evolve, and our very survival rests on the hinges of change. It doesn't matter if it is in your professional life or personal life, the saying change or perish is universally true. Life is like flowing water, if you are like the rock that is immoveable in the river, you are going to be chipped down to pebbles sooner or later. Be proud and perish or be humble , seek help and survive.  I understand asking for help is not an easy task, for once, we assume there aren't many who are ready to reach out . Rejection is not easy, but you owe it to yourself to try.

Accepting that there is a problem in your life is the first step in solving it. Somehow , it is so much easier to just live in the dreamland, and sweep your problems under the carpet, believing what you can't see, does not exist.Sometimes the reason we fail to see the signs of trouble is because it can be overwhelming and result in change.

• Pinpointing what the problem is the second step. It is so much more convenient to accept things at face value especially when we know complex situations demands drastic solutions/change. 
• When we ignore the problem for a long time,  the only option remaining is damage control. This is one aspect which is so widely underrated, although we all agree that to err is human , and we all make mistakes
•  Damage control requires lots of courage- because to admit that you committed a blunder, means letting go of your ego and until and unless we are an enlightened monk, we still struggle to control and work around our  pride and ego.

If more people were honest about their failures and struggles, it would make more people  less susceptible to shame and more open to admitting and  rectifying our mistakes.

Some quotes by Dr. Seuss

Hundreds of stories of joy, or success, failures and resilience. One of the best parts about my job is being a fleeting audience in the life stories of strangers. Some stories sear through your heart, others you empathize, and there few which although  beyond my comprehension, helps me peek into the human psyche.

There are several lessons I have learnt from the many lives that have touched mine and compelled me in many ways to view the world with changed perspective.
1. Time is a great healer - we all find ways to cope with our grief. We live on with broken heart, some don't mend forever - yet we tie the ends and march on.
2.There is not a single soul on this earth who has not faced loss. How you react to what happens to you, is what develops your character, not what happens to you.Skip bitterness and anger and you will be rewarded with a heart filled with empathy and kindness.
3.It is never too late to walk on the path you always wanted to. If you don't limit yourself , life is yours for taking.
4. If you have people in your life who love you unconditionally - hold on to them. There are too many lonely hearts out there.

2. You cannot predict how others will behave, you can only control your reaction .  

3. Empathizing makes life easier for you. Forgiving

4. Each person has their own vibrating energy - they just have to be there, to give you the look, without saying a single word, for you to grasp it.
5.

There is something almost spiritual about being part of people's life. One touch, one hug, one smile is all it takes to communicate. 

Black and White

There is no such thing as black and white in life - no absolutes, only shades of grey. Even if you are surrounded by light, you will still have a shadow to deal with. We all relate a situation as good or bad compared to what we know or what we are told. Labeling circumstances with adjectives is self-created. The moment, we accept things for how they are, people just the way they are, life starts to communicate with you.

For instance, we always tend to compare a situation or person to our experience in past. Embellishing the truth distorts it and a simple experience is spiced up by our imagination into something it is not. We end up suffering for something that just does not exist. If that is not sadistic then what is?



Try and experience people and situations without any tinted glasses, without any judging, just how it is. There will always be some people whose dark side will be predominantly evident than others, there will always be some situations that are less comfortable and pleasant. The key is to embrace each emotion, every experience for what is.

Some truths to live by

Ø      Forgive but don’t forget

Ø      You are more than your grief/loss. It is up to you to fill the void with something beautiful.

Ø      We are not here to compete. Enjoy the journey, it’s not a race. We all end up at the same place sooner or later.

Ø      There will always be someone who is better off than, prettier than you. Accept it and it will make life easier.

Ø      Good times or bad – change is inevitable.

Ø      Live every day as if it is your last – because honestly no one can guarantee you that it is not.

Ø      Let not the smile or masks on people’s face fool you. If you could look beyond the pretense, everyone and I mean each one of us have been through hardships and failures.

Ø      Don’t be afraid to show your wounds, it just makes you more human.

Ø      Tomorrow is another day; don’t make it an extension of today.

Ø      If you are getting late to go somewhere, slow down. Slow down and let the moment to rush pass by.

Ø      Every moment you are a new person – embrace your past and dream of your future, but live only in today.

Ø      Don’t stop dreaming. Dreams and hopes are the vitamins for your soul.

Zen inspirations

How many times have we trusted someone and have had that trust broken? How many times have you agreed to help someone (albeit reluctantly and against your will) knowing you are being taken for a ride? And to sum it up how many times have you said, “Never again ’and gone ahead and repeated and then regretted it?

In the last couple of months, I have lent some strangers some money, and going by my past experience, I was stupid to expect them to pay me back. I did this in spite of a better sense prevailing over me. I berated myself for being foolish and was reminded of a quote by Einstein, “Insanity is doing the same thing, over and over again, but expecting different results”. Yet, I was proving the theory right.

I have struggled to change myself for years, to be more worldly and practical, to fight against my basic instinct to help someone (you only get hurt) or to just keep my mouth shut( especially knowing how much trouble it has got me into )! . In my mind, I have played up situations , where I say “no” to people, where I only care about my needs, yet in real time and life, I end up reacting exactly the way I promised myself I won’t. Then I read this story and it brought a smile to my face; for we all are slaves to our basic instincts and believe me you can read all the self-improvement books, try everything, but the inherent qualities that you are born with never changes. You can mask them, you can distort it, subdue it, but it is like the dormant volcano – always ready to erupt. So, here is this fabulous Zen anecdote that has made me accept myself and to let go.


Two monks were washing their bowls in the river when they noticed a scorpion that was drowning. One monk immediately scooped it up and set it upon the bank. In the process he was stung. He went back to washing his bowl and again the scorpion fell in. The monk saved the scorpion and was again stung. The other monk asked him, "Friend, why do you continue to save the scorpion when you know its nature is to sting?"
"Because," the monk replied, "to save it is my nature."

The mirage of youth

Do you remember when we were kids and we just couldn’t wait to grow up. At 3 we wanted to be 5 so that we could go to school like the big kids and then when we turned 9, 13 was the age to be a teenager with all the freedom that came with being a young teenager. 13 was fine, but, 16 seemed to come with more freedom; it came with a


learner’s driver’s licence and of course more in charge of our lives. Next were 19, weaving the dreams of completing graduation, driving, independence and our first step into the world as a young adult.



Stepping into the world of dreams, marks the commencement of a long wait for the mirage of perfect life – waiting for Mr. Maybe Right, perfect job, and happiness that is expected. Entering the world of adulthood quickly opens up avenues of disappointment, rejection, and the wait for the “perfect life” seems all the more distant. After few years of working, relationships and all that makes up life, if we are lucky, we might discover our purpose in life, and fine tune our goals. Congrats, but wait, before you embark on your new found hope of living you have to wait for the mortgage to pay off, the infants to grow older and go to school – which stretches to college, to be free of the responsibilities to finally realize that you are in your 40s and approaching mid life crisis!



When I reached 30, I did mourn the end of my youth, but a decade later in hindsight, the 30 was pretty good. 40 brings with it the wisdom, that it is only going downhill from here, and all you want is the time to slow down. Savoring every moment, wishing for the pause button on the remote of life, you finally maybe start enjoying life. Now, I have learnt better than to talk or plan ahead for the next decade – 10 years from now, if I am lucky, I will be in 50s and looking forward for retirement and pension.



So, although late in life, I have learnt my lesson, and am going to breathe in every new moment in my life in the futile hope that it will slow down time and the imminent aging process

Jump start your day

The market is flooded with so much information about how to live your life right and in my quest for self-improvement; I have read a variety of books out there. There is one thing common in all the wisdom in the books, and I can truthfully say that I have tested it, that to be happy you have to practice gratitude. It is easy to do when you are feeling good and everything is going as planned, but when you start your day with flat tire, line up at the banks, unexpected bills in the mail, it is very hard to convince yourself that life is great. The trick to living is to look into the nooks and corner of your life, to find things to be grateful for, when there is obviously nothing great happening.

When you start your day of in a bad mood, everything goes wrong, take a pause. Stop for a couple of minutes, reorganize your thoughts and recharge your internal resources. Gratitude is like fuel, you need to refill your heart with it, to keep your body and mind running smoothly. Ignore it and you will be stranded with no energy.

It is not easy, no way – we all go through times in life when the situation seems unbearable and honestly in the midst of turmoil, you find nothing to be thankful for. But if you develop an attitude of genuine gratitude everyday, considering it to be vitamin for your mind and soul, you will find you can easily trade your bad day into a brighter day.

So whenever you are getting worked up, take a pause, let not the events dictate how you will feel- only you can decide how you will feel.

 

By Petal

Raising Boys

Few misfortunes can befall a boy which brings worse consequence than to have a really affectionate mother.


W. Somerset Maugham
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I have always followed my instincts when parenting my two boys. Over the years, I rarely faced any predicament about the decisions I made, nor did I doubt my parenting style. But with the boys now being in their pre-teen and teens, I find myself wondering about my competencies as a parent.



It just seems that the decisions of what is right is getting harder. The dilemma of how much and how far can I let them go, is driving me nuts. Do I let my son take a summer job, or should I just let him hang out with his friends? Am I giving them too many chores, or am I being too soft on them? Am I wrong in having high expectations or should I just let them set their goals? Parents with teens and pre-teens know what I am talking about, and parents with young children wonder how hard it can be.



1. Hormonal change in kids brings on the mood swings .Your once angelic and cute child has regressed to throwing tantrums, except this time, instead of looking down and imposing your views, you are looking up and explaining and sometimes pleading for some understanding.

2. The moment your kid turns taller than you, your expectation changes. Physically he is stronger than you and wants to be acknowledged as an adult, but is psychology is still raw. You can no longer talk down or expect them to do something just because you said so.

3. Disciplining has to change too- it has to be done with some respect. It is harder, because as a mother you know that this is the time your child develops self-esteem and self-confidence, and setting rules without reason or consultation, ends up in conflict. A teen who is just discovering ego can be a very stubborn youth.

4. Raising a teen by a strong hand is easy, but to raise him to be a strong, confident, and thinking human being with a high self-esteem is not that easy. The fine balance between affection and discipline, between making them work, and giving them enough space can be very trying.



So, here I am reduced from a self-assured mom of two young kids to an insecure mother of teens still trying to figure out my role in guiding them safely into adulthood.

Think before you leap - 2

I find it very amusing when people assume that just because you are self-employed or own a business, you have no financial woes. During the course of my work over the years, some of the most hard-working people I have met have been self-employed. The temptation of venturing out on your own is very alluring for most of us; you set your own timings, you are the boss etc., but like everything else in life there is a dark side to this misconception.


Firstly, the requisites for starting and owning a business doesn’t involve just money, it consumes your time and encroaches on your personal life too. Be sure your family is involved and mentally ready for what is going to be a life-style changing decision.

 Be prepared for a free fall, if you fail. There is no safety net of employment insurance, health benefits and paid vacations.


 You are on call 24/7 and responsible not just for yourself but the employees who are working for you. Be prepared to get calls after midnight – a break-in, a robbery or an employee who just didn’t turn up for work.


 Getting paid overtime is great as an employee, but not so great when you are a small business owner. Labor laws favor the employees and that’s great for people working for big corporations, but for a small business person, a raise in the minimum wage from 8$ to10.25$ can make a lot of difference.

Sustaining during slow periods of your business cycle can be challenging as well as trying to maintain your profit margins in this slow economy. Unlike a job, where if you don’t work , you might not get paid, in business, you have some obligations like rent and other bills to pay whether or not you are making any money. The responsibility can get overwhelming sometimes.

So, if you are decided to go ahead, tighten up your seat belt,sit tight and enjoy the ride- for although it can get bumpy at times, you won't know what you have missed if you don't take the chance!

Think before you leap -1

I won’t call myself a successful business owner, but an experienced one for sure. But some of the  lessons have been very expensive. The grass is always greener on the other side, and this is especially true if you are working for tyrant as a boss or are going through the phase where you just are dissatisfied with your job.This when the temptation of striking out on your own and joining  the perfect world of  freedom, with no boss, flexible timings lures you .

Before you quit your job and follow your dream ( honestly I have a new dream every night), here are some quick tips to  keep in mind.


1. Business should never be started when you are out of job or mad at your boss. Whenever you are looking to buy a business or strike out on your own, do it when you are doing well in your job. You don’t want to invest in something just because you are dissatisfied with your job. Basically, make sure your decision to establish a new venture, is not clouded by any negative emotional state .And now that you are in a happy state and are still thinking of buying a business go to step 2.

2. Get a good realtor: Remember realtors get paid commission on sale, so make sure your realtor is an honest person. Number can be played around with, accounts can be messed with, and realtors actually don’t care whether you succeed or not, so it is buyer beware! Ask for second and third opinions from people you trust.

3. Take your time – don’t let the realtor pressurize you. Negotiate on the price – most businesses are overpriced and there is always room for negotiations.

4. Remember to calculate your monthly loan payments if you are taking loan for the business.

5. The business may be priced right and you are happy with it, but make sure you sit down and calculate the monthly expenses too. We assume that once we take over the sales will go up, but in the meantime, the rent, hydro and other fixed expenses are not going anywhere.

6. Working capital: Now this is one step many of us tend to miscalculate. In our zest for the new business, we forget that there is a time gap till the business actually starts to make money. I cannot emphasize enough how important this is. Presuming your household expenses are being paid by a second source of income, you still would have to pay for business licenses, phone connection etc. and of course advertising and don’t forget to add source deductions, GST payments, vacation pay, accountant’s fees, bank fees, debit/credit card fees into it. . Most new independent businesses close up within a year or two, because they don’t have enough funds to sustain.

Like with everything else in life, make sure your business is easy to resell. Life changes and we can be prepared and plan for everything, and I might get lot of flak for saying this but the factor of good luck plays a vital role too.

Winning attitude

In this achievement oriented society, winning is everything and how successful you are defined by how much you earn, your job and possessions and yet we all know that each one of us will “fail” sometime or other. The problem is in our quest to succeed we forget how to lose gracefully.




This weekend I experienced first-hand how when we do our best, but don’t let winning be a do or die situation, we win even a bigger prize, it may not be the crown, money or trophy but the sheer enjoyment of enjoying yourself and the experience to the fullest.



When my daughter entered Miss BC, she wanted a tiara, but she got an even bigger reward, the trophy of having fun, great friendships, and truly living in the moment.



We all have a choice about how we want to see things. Focus on your goal, but don’t make winning your ultimate goal. Work hard, and do your best, but don’t forget that the process or the journey is as important if not more that the destination.

The most valuable lesson of life at all Life is not based on what you win, it is to enjoy the opportunity you have given, to smell every flower on the way, enjoy the touch of sun and all the other joys and blessings. Sometimes, the only time you realize what you have is long after it’s gone. My daughter learnt the important lesson that will stay with her all her life – the lesson that life is all about the journey. Like she said, I may not have won the crown, but I feel like a winner. I had the best time ever!

By Petal

Patience

This is a generation of instant gratification – 2 minutes frozen dinners, instant communication, instant everything. You are hungry, call in pizza. In fact, we are so used to having things impromptu that the art of patience is slowly wearing out. Everything is fine, when things go your way, and there is no waiting time. But the moment life throws a curveball; we are thrown off track and want instant solutions.



Patience is an art that you have to practice consistently to perfect. I am basically a very impatient person. In fact, I am the type of person, who is marking the days off calendar in June for Christmas. When everything is going smoothly and according to plans, life is great and the need of practicing patience seems superfluous. The problem is when nothing goes according to plan, when what you want is just out of reach and you start to lose faith. Faith and patience are the two pillars on which your being relies on when life shows the ugly “unfair” face.



Patience is like discipline – you have to observe indiscriminately in good times and bad. Practice it when things go right and you will not lose faith when you experience bumps slowing you down.



Over the years, I realized that being impatient was robbing me of my “present”. I have learnt to calm my mind and wait – wait for the storm to pass away and the sun to shine again. Look at the trees, they don’t rush – flowers bloom in spring and leaves fall in autumn – no sooner or later. The moon takes its time to complete its cycle and although I love sunlight, I know I have to wait for the darkness to pass.



I still haven’t perfected the art of patience; it is going to be an ongoing process and maybe I will never master it. But, now whenever I feel this restless flutter in my heart, I recognize it and calm it and patiently wait for it to regain its faith!



Photos courtesy :
http://seabreezephotos.com/ocean.html













This is a generation of instant gratification – 2 minutes frozen dinners, instant communication, instant everything. You are hungry, call in pizza. In fact, we are so used to having things impromptu that the art of patience is slowly wearing out. Everything is fine, when things go your way, and there is no waiting time. But the moment life throws a curveball; we are thrown off track and want instant solutions.



Patience is an art that you have to practice consistently to perfect. I am basically a very impatient person. In fact, I am the type of person, who is marking the days off calendar in June for Christmas. When everything is going smoothly and according to plans, life is great and the need of practicing patience seems superfluous. The problem is when nothing goes according to plan, when what you want is just out of reach and you start to lose faith. Faith and patience are the two pillars on which your being relies on when life shows the ugly “unfair” face.



Patience is like discipline – you have to observe indiscriminately in good times and bad. Practice it when things go right and you will not lose faith when you experience bumps slowing you down.

Over the years, I realized that being impatient was robbing me of my “present”. I have learnt to calm my mind and wait – wait for the storm to pass away and the sun to shine again. Look at the trees, they don’t rush – flowers bloom in spring and leaves fall in autumn – no sooner or later. The moon takes its time to complete its cycle and although I love sunlight, I know I have to wait for the darkness to pass.

I still haven’t perfected the art of patience; it is going to be an ongoing process and maybe I will never master it. But, now whenever I feel this restless flutter in my heart, I recognize it and calm it and patiently wait for it to regain its faith!