Raising Boys

Few misfortunes can befall a boy which brings worse consequence than to have a really affectionate mother.


W. Somerset Maugham
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I have always followed my instincts when parenting my two boys. Over the years, I rarely faced any predicament about the decisions I made, nor did I doubt my parenting style. But with the boys now being in their pre-teen and teens, I find myself wondering about my competencies as a parent.



It just seems that the decisions of what is right is getting harder. The dilemma of how much and how far can I let them go, is driving me nuts. Do I let my son take a summer job, or should I just let him hang out with his friends? Am I giving them too many chores, or am I being too soft on them? Am I wrong in having high expectations or should I just let them set their goals? Parents with teens and pre-teens know what I am talking about, and parents with young children wonder how hard it can be.



1. Hormonal change in kids brings on the mood swings .Your once angelic and cute child has regressed to throwing tantrums, except this time, instead of looking down and imposing your views, you are looking up and explaining and sometimes pleading for some understanding.

2. The moment your kid turns taller than you, your expectation changes. Physically he is stronger than you and wants to be acknowledged as an adult, but is psychology is still raw. You can no longer talk down or expect them to do something just because you said so.

3. Disciplining has to change too- it has to be done with some respect. It is harder, because as a mother you know that this is the time your child develops self-esteem and self-confidence, and setting rules without reason or consultation, ends up in conflict. A teen who is just discovering ego can be a very stubborn youth.

4. Raising a teen by a strong hand is easy, but to raise him to be a strong, confident, and thinking human being with a high self-esteem is not that easy. The fine balance between affection and discipline, between making them work, and giving them enough space can be very trying.



So, here I am reduced from a self-assured mom of two young kids to an insecure mother of teens still trying to figure out my role in guiding them safely into adulthood.