For the past 20 years, my life has revolved around my kids and family. I have to admit, I have never been the all consuming perfect mother. I enjoyed every bit of it, but was I any good? Well let's just say that if there were medals being handed out for being outstanding parent, rest assured I wouldn't be even on the waiting list. I consider myself to be a mediocre mother. I haven't made any huge sacrifices, I didn't have to. I have received more joy from my kids, than I am sure they have from me. The perks of disciplining. There are loving mothers, there are fun mothers, there are perfect mothers, I consider myself to be a functional mother. I remember, when my older son was one year old, I was so relieved that he had survived 365 days with me. In these 20 years, along with lots of love, hugs and kisses, peppered with yelling and bouts of angry displays, and ranting my heart out even when I knew they were not listening, I have managed to raise two kind adults who whether they admit it or not are feminists in their own rights. Parenting is tough- letting go is tougher after all these of waiting for them to grow up, there is a sense of satisfaction, along with with the stoic acceptance that my role in their lives has been downgraded from lead lady to supporting actor, not an easy demotion to accept.
After the initial glitch and adjustment period which lasted maybe for a year or so, I am learning to enjoy my reclaimed time and freedom. My job description as the primary nurturer and caregiver has now evolved to being more to that of cheerleader in the best of times, and a mute spectator at worst which is what it is going to be in the future times for sure. Watching them step into adulthood, getting first jobs, resigning, flunking exams, to first girlfriend, all testing my maturity as an adult. I hate to admit, but I did freak out for a couple of days on some girl, sharing my son's affection.
Yet, after all drama, I am loving this new stage of my life. I can finally live selfishly - I can put myself first now, most of the times. I still volunteer to cook for the boys,do their laundry and all the other stuff that maybe I shouldn't be doing anymore but knowing that I have the choice to quit doing so, is very empowering. I also now have two more interesting adults to talk to , to discuss music, movies, books and life in general.
After the initial glitch and adjustment period which lasted maybe for a year or so, I am learning to enjoy my reclaimed time and freedom. My job description as the primary nurturer and caregiver has now evolved to being more to that of cheerleader in the best of times, and a mute spectator at worst which is what it is going to be in the future times for sure. Watching them step into adulthood, getting first jobs, resigning, flunking exams, to first girlfriend, all testing my maturity as an adult. I hate to admit, but I did freak out for a couple of days on some girl, sharing my son's affection.
Yet, after all drama, I am loving this new stage of my life. I can finally live selfishly - I can put myself first now, most of the times. I still volunteer to cook for the boys,do their laundry and all the other stuff that maybe I shouldn't be doing anymore but knowing that I have the choice to quit doing so, is very empowering. I also now have two more interesting adults to talk to , to discuss music, movies, books and life in general.
