Money Matters

There are certain lessons you learn as a banker. The privilege of looking into a wide array of peoples lives from a financial perspective makes you look at things differently. I have personally been through financial upheaval in my life, but to realize that I wasn't the only one, is helpful. My outlook about life and money has changed. I have learnt

1. Money isn't everything - but money is almost as important as health

2. What you earn matters, but what and how you spend matters more

3. It doesn't take long for your bank balance to go down - a divorce, a job loss, a long term illness - a sick child .You can't  judge others by their bank balance - you don't know their story

4. Not all bank balances are created equal - some are inherited, some are accident claims, and some are self-made. But all bank balances tell you a story.

5. You don't take money with you when you pass on - but you definitely need it till the end. You never know how long and under what health issues you will live in the future -and there are no seniors discounts on hydro bills and groceries.

6. Write a will, disburse as much as you can - inheritance creates problems - it tests relationships.

7. Poverty is  no fun, but at the same time being rich is not guarantee for happiness. The more you have , the more you obsess about money.

Unknown Trails

Last couple of weeks, I have felt lost - a feeling that I just wasn't connected to my inner self. I have cried my heart out for inconsequential reasons, picked up fights with loved ones, and in general have been a miserable person to be around. A hurtful comment, some imagined slights  all making me feel like I was worthless. Frustration and resentment turn into anger and anger is poison  that can harden your heart and make it devoid of love and kindness.

It took a while to realize that I was resisting an unwanted change. An unwanted change is always painful, but resisting it causes suffering. I am learning that whenever I resist or have to deal with situations that I didn't like or want in the first place, I become miserable.

Life is full of choices, but most often our choices are not unconditional. I realize that whenever I carry resentment , frustration, or anger, I hurt myself. The negative feelings might have been meant for somebody else, or maybe just for the situation we are in , but it spills over and affects me more than anybody else. There is no winning in holding resentment, no winning in feeling helpless.

I am learning the art of patience, I am learning that everything takes time and it is wiser to just go with the flow. The more I resist, the more I suffer. It is not easy to not feel trapped, it might be a relationship, it might be a job or it might just be your health issue. But  the fact remains, that the more we struggle to set free, the more we get entangled .

We all need our own stress busters, our own little stories that we tell ourselves to feel better. It might be lies, it might just be illusionary, but we all need some glimmer of hope for a better day.  I find that a hike on an unknown trail - makes my head clearer. You don't know where your destination is , you don't know what you will encounter next, all you do know is that you have to keep on moving forward, one step at a time. 

Life is what we make it to be ... how we see it. Keep the internal hope alive, keep the innocence alive and above all let not tough situations and negative people embitter you. You are victorious if you don't let your heart be toughened by what life throws at you. Dust the heart free of all negativity, shine it with love and soldier on .Life is beautiful if you feel beautiful. 

A look within

My beautiful, bright tulips were dying... petals falling apart, exposing the sweet fragrance hidden somewhere in the heart of the flower. Essence that I had missed, till I was compelled by decay to look beyond the obvious.I picked up the petals intending to clean up the apparent mess and was astonished at the beauty of the petal . The shiny, shaded petal, silky and beautiful beyond words from inside. If I hadn't picked up the broken flower, I would have missed out on seeing the flower from a different perspective - the beauty inside.

There are certain things in life that unifies all mankind and certain things that create a wedge between us. Unfortunately, the things that unites us are not always happy. We are unified in our grief. There is something about loss - something about grieving for a loved ones that crosses all barriers of language, religion and  race and brings us all together. I find that our smiles can be faked, but tears rarely can . We are more unified in our sorrow than in our happiness. Happiness is very personal and individualistic and although we all are unified in seeking it, it doesn't open our hearts. Broken hearts are more open, more receiving. We see life and people with a different perspective. No other language or emotion is as pure as sadness or grief.

A moment of shared grief creates a connection forever.  You will never forget the people you shared a tear with -sharing your most vulnerable moment with someone is something that you don't easily forget. Friends who have seen me crushed, who have been in tough times, even those who were strangers, are a part of life.

Show kindness to all you meet -you never know who might need it and maybe it will reflect back on self.