Kind words

I have written about words earlier. But just like love, the art of communication is so complex and mysterious that any attempt to capture its essence generally fail.Words have the power to pierce through your heart. They are alive and can transform your There are words that break you into pieces or give you the wings to conquer the world. The words that hurt the most are the ones uttered by your loved ones. They stay captured in your heart, echoing through the years and battering your heart with a renewed energy. They have the power to well your eyes with tears, they have the power to make you smile and at times even laugh all alone. They can comfort you  or make you feel all alone in the world depending on whether our minds colour it either with love or with suspicion. They have the power to mutate into something quite different than what it was intended to be.

All of us go through phases in our lifetime, when we feel weak and seek reassurance either from the power above or from our loved ones. A wise friend of mine once said, we talk to God, because he doesn't reply back. It is true. Most of the time, we just need someone to hear us out, to let us express our fears. We don't necessarily seek a solution to our problems, and definitely not judgement. All we need is reassurance that everything will be alright.  We seek hope, we seek unwavering  support and sometimes kind words are just enough

There was a time, kids grew up reading fairy tales. I know I read hundreds of Mills and Boons  and Barbara Cartlands. The words in those books definitely skewed my perception of romance. But at the same time, they were words of finding goodness, finding hope even if it was the shallowest love possible.Youth should be brimming with  hopeless optimism. Children should grow up believing that life is full of possibilities. Read to them books that let them dream, dream of worlds that are possible only in their imagination. Let the words mould their minds in believing life is good. People are good. Let time and experience reveal the truth whatever it may be. Spread the word of hope, of goodness when you talk to them. We need more fairy tales, we need more beautiful endings.

Words are powerful. Tell someone they are beautiful, tell them they are loved. No one was ever offended at being felt wanted and desired. Tell your kids they are smart, capable. Leave the harsh words for the others - for they will be hearing it often in adulthood.
 Ensure that the words we tell ourselves are kind too. It is very easy to distort our perceptions of ourselves. We become what we believe.Reassure your loved ones that they can depend on you, when the  time comes. Use words kindly and it may heal a heal heart.

A healthy balance

Every day I have this opportunity to peek into people's financial and their personal lives. One thing I have learnt is that life happens, people change and life changes. What is true today, may not be true tomorrow. Yet, we are always so smug in our present situation, that we fail to plan for the unseen events. A newly wed couple is definitely not thinking of getting a divorce, but 15 years down the lane - you never know  the unspoken or unthinkable event  may be a reality.We can never be truly prepared for what is going to happen, but on the same note, it doesn't hurt to prepare for the worst.

Money is almost as necessary to living as oxygen.It may not bring you happiness, but it will keep you alive and make being miserable more bearable. Poverty is no fun, debt is inebriating. Just try and be in the shoe of a single parent struggling to meet ends, trying to stay afloat, to understand how important it is to have the  financial security.  Yet to find the fine balance between living comfortably and being an insecure hoarder is not an easy task. The best of us are trying to find balance in life in all aspects of our lives.

At the risk of sounding preachy, I have realized in the past three years working in a financial sector that :

1: Life happens, nothing can prepare you for it. Wealth can evaporate - all you need is an unfortunate event - a divorce, an illness, loss of employment and all your savings are gone and none of us are immune to it.
2. There is no shame in starting over -and no matter how difficult it is, downsizing, lowering your living standards is at times  the only way to rebuild your life.  Have your own individual financial identity.
3. How you deal with your finances is often how you deal with your relations.
4. Wealth is no guarantee of  happiness. So, while you are busy making money, don't forget to live your life. Not all good things in life cost money and not all with flashy cars and big houses are financially sound.
5. Your time is your biggest asset - use it wisely. Invest in education, invest in relation and like all things we cherish, respect your paycheque - because, no one is going to pay your bills for you. Unfortunately, living costs money and bills don't stop coming and at times all you can do is keep yourself afloat.

Turning 21

Dear son,

Twenty years ago, when I first held into my arms, like all other mothers, I was certain that I held a potential Einstein in my arms. You were a bundle of limitless potential and boundless imagination. I imagined you growing up one day, imagined you being all that I could not be. You have to understand son, we humans are strange. We create mini-mes, in the hope that they will be a better version of us. The moment I saw you, you became my world, that is till your brother was born. Every moment spent with you has been a learning process. I know they say parenting is difficult, but parenting is also very rewarding. Loving someone unconditionally, having the opportunity to create a person - a thinking, loving person, is a fulfilling job that I hope one day you will get to experience.

As you are entering the threshold of adulthood, I want to thank you for teaching me patience, for expanding my universe. I love to see the world through your eyes, to learn about things you love, and to grow. I apologize for not being the perfect parent, but I am wiser now that in knowing that I always did the best that I could. And being a mother, how can I resist the temptation of giving you advice on life?  I know I am limited on how much advice I am allocated to give you  and will stick to the ones that I find relevant for you.

 Son, it is a scary big world out there ---- wish I could say that. Was just kidding.

1. Life is beautiful. But beauty is in the eyes of the  beholder. What you think, you believe, is what you see and get. And sometimes it is the other way too. You love and find beauty in things you get- even in shit and believe me, you will be served with it at some time or other in life. We all do - no escaping it. Even your body knows it.  Yet, it is the only way of knowing when the going was good. You always need bad days to appreciate the good ones.

2. No matter how prepared you are for living, you are never prepared for it. Life has a way of catching you off guard. It always rains, when you are not carrying your umbrella. Learn to enjoy the rain. Learn to dance in the rain. Yes, you will be uncomfortable, and cold and maybe the grey skies will deceive you into thinking that the sun will never shine again ( I feel that often), but remember, that the sun is always shining, only we are not able to see it from where we are standing. Take one day at a time.

3. Plan a flexible plan. You may not reach where you want to, but it is aways good to be on a road to somewhere. Although my experience forces me to warn you  that your plan and the universe's plan might not be on the same page. All you can do is go with the flow. Keep your plans flexible. 10 years from now, you will be surprised where you end up. I hope I will be pleasantly surprised too.

4. Career, love, life, dreams, all are waiting for you. Life is not perfect, you are not perfect, but you will learn to gather happiness along the way. Life is waiting for you. Embrace it, or better still dance with it. Remember, everything else is secondary. Living - living every moment in awareness, with a purpose gives meaning to live. Life without meaning is merely existing.

5. Where ever you go, whatever you do, remember I am there. Invest in relations, in honest, truthful relations. We are all, always walking on the fine line between right and wrong - listen to your soul. 

So son, go ahead and make a difference in this world. It might seem scary, but remember as you are trapezing through this new world of being adult, I am there as your safety net, even long after you don't need it.

Love always,


Your mom