RIP - the brave one!

Some news don't just remain stories - they become your stories, echoing your fears, your pains. Some stories stay with you, breaking the barriers to shroud you in the grief that is hard to shake off. Some haunt you long enough to initiate an action for change.

The story of the girl brutally gang raped and assaulted has culminated in her imminent death. The violent and gruesome incident touched a chord buried deep in our soul somewhere, a chord that would awaken us from our apathy to the condition of women in India. I would like to believe that the story broke all cultural barriers and all people "human" could identify with the violent incident.

The act was gruesome, but what was amazing was the girl's brave and courageous will to fight for her life. I salute the girl who is inspiring all the other women to protests for safer streets. In a society where women just represent "honor" -where stories of girls raped, committing suicide is the norm because of rape is considered "shameful" - no not for the rapist but the victim, this story of a girl fighting tooth and nail to live is inspirational to say the least.

For me it is not the act that caught my attention, there have always been such violent crimes committed against women in India - in fact the same day, there were couple of more similar stories reported from different parts of the country. For me and thousands of others, it was her desire to survive, her desire to seek justice, her fighting spirit that will stay with me for ever. Incredibly they had managed to just break her down physically - her spirit was intact!

It's not enough to cry for a girl who has unwillingly just by her spirit, touched a million hearts , her reaction to the awful incident triggering  a change. We all wanted her to live, a beacon of hope , but today instead of politicizing her death, lets make it a safer place for women in India. Let us all start at home, with women independent and strong, teaching their daughters  to be brave and bold, teaching their sons to respect not just their sisters,but the whole race. And as we all know teaching is not words, it is action.

Dad's your sons are watching every move you make, every time you belittle your wife, you are teaching your son that it is okay, mothers each injustice, insult you ignore , you are teaching your daughter and son both that abusing women is acceptable.

RIP -the brave girl,  and let us all think what she would have wanted if she were alive. A change for sure - a change in attitude, in justice system and our relation of women to honor.

Of Endings and Beginnings

Christmas is done and the countdown to New Year has already begun. The bells ringing in a New Year full of hope and promise of new opportunities and a life better than we already have. It doesn't matter how much we have right now, human beings are basically greedy and the desire for more and better never ends. 

As we take stock of the year gone by, we all have to be grateful that the Mayans were not as bright as we thought, in the process giving us all have second chance to fulfill our dreams and live life to fullest. There are resolutions to be made, mistakes to be rectified and dreams to be fulfilled.  It is time to take stock in retrospection and tabulate our balance sheet for all that we gained and lost in our lives in the last 365 days.

Welcoming another year is our way of saying that we believe that every ending brings a hope sliver of hope with the promise of fresh beginnings. Beginnings not yet defined by the mistakes of yesterday.  It is a promise to view the world with fresh eyes, promise to wipe the slate clean of all the impediments blocking our way to a happier life.

My resolution for New |Year is simple:

1.     I will continue to view everyday as a blessing.

2.     I will continue to TRY and live in the present

3.     I will continue to refuse past experiences colour my view of today and tomorrow.

4.     I will love more, give more, laugh more everyday – and if worries tries to play catch up with me, I will bring myself back to the present and count my blessings.

5.     I will be ready to embrace my flaws, all the good and the bad in myself and welcome all the experiences with open arms.

6.     I will overcome my fears, judging people and just live for now.

New Year Quotes

For last year's words belong to last year's language

And next year's words await another voice.”
― T.S. Eliot

Tomorrow, is the first blank page of a 365 page book. Write a good one.” 
― Brad Paisley

Youth is when you're allowed to stay up late on New Year's Eve. Middle age is when you're forced to. - Bill Vaughn

Good resolutions are simply checks that men draw on a bank where they have no account. - Oscar Wilde

I made no resolutions for the New Year. The habit of making plans, of criticizing, sanctioning and molding my life, is too much of a daily event for me. - Anaïs Nin

“Hope

Smiles from the threshold of the year to come,
Whispering 'it will be happier'...”
― Alfred Tennyson

We will open the book. Its pages are blank. We are going to put words on them ourselves. The book is called Opportunity and its first chapter is New Year's Day. - Edith Lovejoy Pierce

The object of a new year is not that we should have a new year. It is that we should have a new soul. - G.K. Chesterton

Quotes by Gabriel Garcia Marquez

“What matters in life is not what happens to you but what you remember and how you remember it.” 

“He allowed himself to be swayed by his conviction that human beings are not born once and for all on the day their mothers give birth to them, but that life obliges them over and over again to give birth  to themselves.” 

She discovered with great delight that one does not love one’s children just because they are one’s children but because of the friendship formed while raising them .

The problem with marriage is that it ends every night after making love, and it must be rebuilt every morning before breakfast.

Nobody deserves your tears, but whoever deserves them will not make you cry.

It is not true that people stop pursuing dreams because they grow old, they grow old because they stop pursuing dreams. 

"He who awaits much can expect little."

No, not rich. I am a poor man with money, which is not the same thing."

“Amputees suffer pains, cramps, itches in the leg that is no longer there. That is how she felt without him, feeling his presence where he no longer was".

“The problem in public life is learning to overcome terror; the problem in married life is learning to overcome boredom”

“But if they had learned anything together, it was that wisdom comes to us when it can no longer do any good”

Crime and Punishment

Crime and Punishment

We read in the newspapers everyday about the crimes and violence taking place in various parts of the world, some war ridden, some in the dark world of Africa or places that seem too far away for us to be scared or feel unsafe. But when the same crimes happen on our turf – the civilised and educated world, where  we live under the illusion that we are safe, it finally hits home.

The news of a girl brutally gang-raped in a moving bus –brought back memories about how unsafe it is for women in India. Nothing has changed. Twenty years ago, growing up in a relatively safe part of India, I remember getting into arguments with my mother as to why was I supposed to be home before dark. Her fear for my well-being was intensified by what I believe to be every single girl’s experience of some sort of molestation – bottom pinching, being pushed, blatant staring; all a part of daily life. You learn to live around it – sort of being a girl hazard – always alert and aware of dangers lurking not only in the dark, but during daytime too. And of course, you keep quiet about it – nobody talks-and shame and guilt about how you could have prevented it sets in. There are perverts in all cultures and all societies, but if the pervert knows that his actions have no repercussions, he becomes bolder and more pervasive.

This gruesome rape – with the girl still fighting for her life, has resonated with most women in India – the worst nightmare of a parent. It is horrifying and reflects the decaying of a society. Indian movies generally depict that a girl loses her honour, when she gets raped – a shame for her family with rape depicted as forced sex –that’s it. This particular incident has thrown light that it’s just not forced sex, but an act of aggression that violates every boundary of being human. We have seen violence against women used as a tool in war – Sudan, Afghanistan and other parts of the world – some using acid, some chopping of ears and of course rape to show their dominance towards women.

It was all the more appalling to read that one of the guys had already been charged with rape in some other case- and was still free on the streets. Violence against women is something that will only change when we act fast against criminals and appropriately punish them. We need in India a judiciary with women judges and lawyers to make more women willing to come forward and report. We need the criminals to be punished instantaneously- in the lines of court –martial. A nightmare relived repeatedly is a punishment to the victim not the aggressor.

My heart and prayers go out to this brave girl who is fighting for her life, and her family and also to all those other girls out there violated and living in shame in silence. May the New Year empower women all through the world – to live like a “person “ with equal rights.

What are your views on crime against women and what can we do to prevent them ? Waiting to read all your views.

  

Of Birds and Rainbows

Nothing says “hope” more brightly than rainbows. I love rainbows; there is something magical about the colors, the perfect curve and of course the symbolic representation that the sun is smiling through the clouds. Would rainbows be as pretty if we didn’t have to bear the rain and dark clouds? I doubt it.

Recently I have been fascinated by birds – not any particular kind , just the crows perching on the wires, or seagulls playing in the fields or occasionally an eagle soaring by or chirping of the sparrows. There is something liberating when birds spread their wings, when they sing and communicate with each other – happy to be just what they are. A crow doesn’t compete to sing like a cuckoo or be pretty like a dove, just “being”, loving life and their very existence. Maybe because they are so elusive, giving you just a glimpse of their personalities that they keep me asking for more.

Walking my son to school, on some rare sunny days , I feel so blessed to tune in to the songs of the birds hiding somewhere within the branches of swaying  trees or the stern and  majestic mountains staring down at me. I love not talking, not thinking, just being present and being aware of my every movement. The 15 minutes walk is my meditation – something that charges me to smile and face the brand new 24 hours ahead of me.

I have realized that I have been complaining less – comparing less – not with others but my own situation . A rainy and gloomy day doesn’t affect me as much because I don’t accumulate the cloudy days of yesterday or the weather forecast of tomorrow. It is rainy and cloudy today period. 

Life is definitely easier and happier once you start to live in the present. Of course, I am still in the nascent stage and have a long way to go – but then I am not looking in the future either. It is now and here and I am taking baby steps to keep it that way.

Wise quotes on Children and Education

Children must be taught how to think, not what to think.” 
― Margaret Mead

“Your children are not your children. They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself... 
You may house their bodies but not their souls, for their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow, which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.” 
― Kahlil Gibran

“If you must hold yourself up to your children as an object lesson, hold yourself up as a warning and not as an example.”

"Knowledge is learning something new every day. Wisdom is letting go of something every day." —Zen Proverb

"There are obviously two educations. One should teach us how to make a living and the other how to live."—James Truslow Adams

"The young do not know enough to be prudent, and therefore they attempt the impossible, and achieve it, generation after generation." —Pearl S. Buck

Some quotes and a poem by Hafiz

• Now that all your worry has proved such an unlucrative
  Business, why not find a better Job. 
  
  

• Fear is the cheapest room in the house. I would like to see you living in better conditions.

• I should not make any promises right now. But I know if you pray somewhere in this world - Something good will happen.

• Love sometimes wants to do us a great favor: hold us upside down and shake all the nonsense out.

• There are different wells within your heart.
  Some fill with each good rain,
  Others are far too deep for that.
  
  

“TRIPPING OVER JOY

What is the difference
Between your experience of Existence
And that of a saint?

The saint knows
That the spiritual path
Is a sublime chess game with God

And that the Beloved
Has just made such a Fantastic Move

That the saint is now continually
Tripping over Joy
And bursting out in Laughter
And saying, “I Surrender!”

Whereas, my dear,
I am afraid you still think
You have a thousand serious moves.” 
Even after all this time the sun never says to the Earth, "you owe me." Look what happens with a love like that. It lights up the whole sky.

Second Chances

Do you think I know what I am doing?
that for one breath or half-breath, I belong to myself?
as much as a pen knows what its writing
or the ball can guess where it is going next-Rumi

What do you do when your slate has been wiped clean? You either mop over the loss or pick yourself up and decide to live life with a whole new perspective. Starting life anew can be one of the most liberating experiences if you can conquer your fear for change and failure or else one of the most painful experiences.. Every step is a new opportunity, every opportunity is a potential life path towards success and happiness. 

There are some  with heightened self-awareness who know what they want when they are young, some who are happy not figuring out - being just where they are and some like me who have spent last 30 years trying to decipher the purpose of her life. Life is a journey with death as the final destination, yet that cannot be the purpose of our existence. Anyone who has struggled to find the purpose of their existence, would agree that the uncertainty  can be excruciatingly painful  to a certain extent. 

Trying to figure out what you want in life happens twice - once in your teens , where you most likely go with the flow , especially if you have not developed your sense of self and second time - in your 40s when you realize that you are past the half-mark of life. Second time round, either the dissatisfaction of your present life jerks you up by your collar or circumstances in life punches you and  throws you in a hole, where the only way to climb out is by  saying a warm hello and embracing  your own strengths and weaknesses.  

Taking chances the second time round is easier for some and still a struggle for others. The moment fear and insecurity  raises its ugly head, and paralyzes us into inaction, we freeze and revert back to our old self. Yet I personally feel that I am more prone to taking  risks, realizing by experience that most of my anxiety and worries  in my life were often unfounded . Of course being a chronic worrier, it is easier said than done. 

Yet here I am , still a work in progress,  opening my heart and soul to any new possibilities life offers me. Believing firmly in the adage of  Scarlett O' Hara in Gone with the Wind -"Tomorrow is another Day ".

Some Quotes on Giving

“Celebrate the happiness that friends are always giving, make every day a holiday and celebrate just living!”


“We make a living by what we get. We make a life by what we give.”  

Gracious acceptance is an art - an art which most never bother to cultivate. We think that we have to learn how to give, but we forget about accepting things, which can be much harder than giving.... Accepting another person's gift is allowing him to express his feelings for you.

“Generosity is not giving me that which I need that you do, but it is giving me that which you need more that I do.” 

“Behold I do not give lectures or a little charity, when I give I give myself.”
― Walt Whitman

Generosity is giving more than you can, and pride is taking less than you need

 “He who obtains has little. He who scatters has much

The 5 P's Plan

“It does not matter how slowly you go as long as you do not stop.”  Confucius

I am not sure about you all, but whenever I am trying to make a change in my lifestyle – be it trying to eat healthy, or to  learning to live in the present, I am initially bubbling with enthusiasm, will do great for a week or two – in fact will religiously be loyal to changing myself, only to find in the end that it has fizzled down to nothing. Just one slip and I am sliding back to my old habits.  In trying to figure out on how to last longer, I have come up with these five Ps plan .

1. Perseverance : This is obvious – you need it to succeed in making a permanent change.  Stumbling, but getting up again and again is not easy for the strongest of us. Gain two pounds or one negative thought and  we  are back to our defeatist attitude.
2. Partner : The best of us need support to encourage us to stay on the right track. It is always harder when the struggle is yours, but a partner is more objective and less involved. Find someone to share this journey together.
3. Patience: Making change permanent requires you to make it a part of you – a habit and instilling good habits is never easy and requires time. In the time of instant gratification, waiting for reward requires all your energy
4. Practice : You can have the best intentions to make the change, yet the only way it will be a part of you is when you consciously practice it consistently . Practice requires discipline and being alert to the pitfalls of laziness and weakening of resolve.
5. Praise : And finally, praising and appreciating your every little victory is a great motivator to achieve success. Every small step counts and you can only keep going if you feel proud of your baby steps. 

Change to Survive

Nothing makes you respect the power of time, than growing a year older. Time, the elusive time, if only we understood the real power of time. Most of us don’t change when things are going smoothly, even the river refuses to change its course, yet when there is a storm, a drastic event, pushing you towards your very basic survival, even the river is  FORCED to look for options  and change its course. Change is of two types - voluntary and involuntary. Change resulting in fulfilling our desires is welcomed, yet when life takes control of your destiny, and you have to give up something close to you , the unsolicited change can be hard to digest for most of us.

I am not a big fan of  football, but the other day watching an NFL game aired on T.V., I was amazed to see these huge 200 pound or more big guys, jumping up after getting tackled with an agility that belied their size and built. We will always be brought down by our problems, but keeping the love for ourselves and for life intact, how fast we respond and adapt decides our fate. Similar to the football players, who develop this ability through practice and more practice, we can learn to face challenges head on by stabilizing our mind through focussing on the present and our blessings.

Other times, severing off  your rotting limb,  is the only way to survive. It can be a relationship, a career, or simply a  lifestyle or attitude, anything that is stagnant will rot. Have you ever seen a flowing stream in the woods? It creates its own path , soft and pliable water, not fighting the rocks, but finding ways around it. In my mind, faced by problems seemingly insurmountable,  I always imagined that I was going  deep down in the hole - from where it would be impossible to claw my way out to light and freedom. That was till I readjusted my attitude to thinking that the darkness was caused by clouds , clouds that would one day would  bring down rain and clean my soul or would be blown away to expose the beautiful sky lit with stars and moon.  To imagine being surrounded by a sight so beautiful, to be cradled in the arms of nature , gives you the courage and patience to wait for the sky to clear and sun to smile again.

As a friend of mine put it  life is a one way journey , always moving forward towards the  final destination. Enjoy the ride offering you a change in scenery .There is no way to rewind, no way to fast forward, just breathe in all the fresh experiences  that will never be repeated again.  In fact every moment of life is  a once in a lifetime  experience and all we need is to just be present,  - choosing to chaff the feelings that bog us down and just wearing the cloak of  love and good memories.

So, here I am, knowing and accepting that although the clouds might seem to have been blown away for now, they will be back  , but next time I will not in a hole but will be  standing high on the mountain waiting patiently for the sun to shine again.

Some notable quotes on friendship

“Nothing makes the earth seem so spacious as to have friends at a distance; they make the latitudes and longitudes.” 

“By chance we met, by choice we become friend” 

“Oh, the comfort — the inexpressible comfort of feeling safe with a person — having neither to weigh thoughts nor measure words, but pouring them all right out, just as they are, chaff and grain together; certain that a faithful hand will take and sift them, keep what is worth keeping, and then with the breath of kindness blow the rest away.” 

“There is no happiness like that of being loved by your fellow creatures, and feeling that your presence is an addition to their comfort.” 

“The world is so empty if one thinks only of mountains, rivers & cities; but to know someone who thinks & feels with us, & who, though distant, is close to us in spirit, this makes the earth for us an inhabited garden.” 

“How many slams in an old screen door? Depends how loud you shut it. How many slices in a bread? Depends how thin you cut it. How much good inside a day? Depends how good you live 'em. How much love inside a friend? Depends how much you give 'em.” 

The Power of Fear

THE POWER OF FEAR

The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.

Franklin D. Roosevelt

Reading the news about Fearless Felix, who broke through not only sound barrier while skydiving, but overcame his fear for closed spaces in his quest to set new and redefine human capabilities. I was fascinated to read that the man who had no qualms about heights and who dared to do feats that normally would make anyone of us, think twice, had almost given up on his dream of jumping from stratosphere, because he suffered from claustrophobia. Somehow, this endeared him more to me, made him more human and relatable, especially for someone like me, who is constantly struggling with unknown and unseen fears.

He also proved that fear is irrational, that being daring in some actions did not exonerate you completely from fear. Fear is unreasonable, can paralyze you into inaction or will be responsible in initiating you into reckless actions. All of us have different apprehensions, different thoughts about what is going to threaten our existence, most of it never exists or happen. Fear of death, change, losing a loved one, of being humiliated, failure, …. the list goes on, till you realize that all you need to fear is fear itself.

So, face the inner devil which nudges inactivates you, that pushes you in a corner and push the button of hope and faith to be free – free to live and soar the heights we are meant to reach.

Winnie the Pooh Wisdom – Quotes by A.A Milne

Ø      Weeds are flowers, too, once you get to know them.

Ø      Sometimes,' said Pooh, 'the smallest things take up the most room in your heart." 

Ø      Sometimes, if you stand on the bottom rail of a bridge and lean over to watch the river slipping slowly away beneath you, you will suddenly know everything there is to be known." 

Ø      Don't underestimate the value of Doing Nothing, of just going along, listening to all the things you can't hear, and not bothering.

Ø      The things that make me different are the things that make me.

Ø      Rivers know this there is no hurry. We shall get there some day.

Ø      The third-rate mind is only happy when it is thinking with the majority. The second-rate mind is only happy when it is thinking with the minority. The first-rate mind is only happy when it is thinking."

Ø     
Pay attention to where you are going because without meaning you might get nowhere.

Ø      "Promise me you'll always remember: You're braver than you believe, and stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think." 

Two girls - one story

The person who tries to live alone will not succeed as a human being. His heart withers if it does not answer another heart. His mind shrinks away if he hears only the echoes of his own thoughts and finds no other inspiration.- Pearl Buck

One week, 2 girls, two different continents, two different stories but both inspire in their own way. First story is of Amanda Todd, a 15 year old from BC, Canada who committed suicide after being exploited online. The other is a 15 year old girl from Pakistan - Malala who was shot in the head by extremists, for voicing her opinion about a girl’s right to education. Two girls, different stories superficially – yet both girls fought against bullying in their own way.

It takes courage to bare your soul and heart, to ask for help publicly, especially after being judged and shunned by your “friends”. She fought long and hard to find acceptance and I find it very distressing, that our human hearts are more concerned with judging than with compassion. Worst kind of bullying is one that hurts and destroys your spirit and no kid needs to go through it.

Malala is an obvious hero – a 15 year old being vocal in voicing her opinion about her ruthless bullies. To believe in something at such a young age, to be so bold and brave in a society that is repressive, is a feat in itself. I salute her !

Sometimes I wonder what would have happened if Amanda had met Malala online? What if she had known her story ? Somehow I feel, the outcome maybe would have been different.

It is said that the opposite of love is not hate, it is indifference.  My heart went out to the family of the young teenager who committed suicide , a life taken away too soon. I saw the video in which she shares her pain and opens up about how cyber bullying and isolation in school had led her to attempt suicide twice earlier. This video was posted on youtube 5 weeks before she died.

What is appalling that all the newspapers and media today are carrying reports about how she was bullied  and how this could have been prevented. Why wasn't there any support for her either from the media or her peers when she had narrated her story 5 weeks earlier? All she wanted was some support, someone to share her pain with, to be accepted.

Teenagers are confused, overloaded with whacky hormones. Girls looking for validation of their beauty, insecure in their worth are


In today's world, it is so easy for cowards to bully someone annoynmously, to espew hate and venom while being totally invisible. Social media can spread news and rumours like wildfire,and all it takes is just a spark of hatred mixed with ignorance and apathy to destroy reputation and in some instances life.

Social media with its "likes" and comments, makes it impossible for a kid with low self-esteem to be indifferent towards the way the world sees him/her. So how do we teach our kids to deal with insolent comments by strangers or "friends"?

Teach the kids - whether they use social media or not , that civillity




I am still astounded about how helpless we feel when a young life goes to waste and nothing is done to save it. Even as adults, we find it

Inspiring Quotes by Maya Angelou

If we lose love and self respect for each other, this is how we finally die.

I've learned that you shouldn't go through life with a catcher's mitt on both hands; you need to be able to throw something back.

There is nothing so pitiful as a young cynic because he has gone from knowing nothing to believing nothing.

We allow our ignorance to prevail upon us and make us think we can survive alone, alone in patches, alone in groups, alone in races, even alone in genders.

The first time someone shows you who they   are,believe them.

I have found that among its other benefits, giving liberates the soul of the giver.

 

God puts rainbows in the clouds so that each of us- in the dreariest and most dreaded moments- can see a possibility of hope.

Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.

Success is liking yourself, liking what you do, and liking how you do it.

Lucky or unlucky

Once upon the time there was an old farmer who worked on the fields for many years. One day his horse ran away.  His neighbors who came to visit him, showing pity said “That’s too bad for you.”

“Maybe,” the farmer replied.

The next morning the horse returned, bringing with it three other wild horses. “How lucky” the neighbors they said. .

“Maybe,” replied the old man.

The following day, his son tried to ride one of the untamed horses, was thrown, and broke his leg. The neighbors again came to offer their sympathy on his misfortune.

“Maybe,” answered the farmer.

The day after, military officials came to the village to draft young men into the army. Seeing that the son’s leg was broken, they passed him by. The neighbors congratulated the farmer on how well things had turned out.

“Maybe,” said the farmer.

I love this story for the simple fact that we are so quick to judge what happens in our life as lucky or unfortunate. Everything in our life happens for a reason – reason far beyond our understanding at the point of it occurring. We may not understand  the whys of it and being so close to it not see it clearly too, but from a distance, the panoramic view displays a different picture. All the people we meet, all the heartbreaks, disappointments have their roots in directing us to a higher elevation of human life.

Whenever I look back at my own life, I realize that all – the good, the bad that I am or that is in my life, is based on something that I thought was an adverse incident in my life. Life gives us opportunities in the form of undesirable situations everyday to rise above ourselves, to love, to give, to forgive, do the right thing and grow stronger.  

.

 

Shedding negativity

Fall is here – leaves changing colors and geared up for change. If we look around us, everything in nature sheds or purges regularly. I am not even talking about ending the old, to ring in the new, no – it is just everyday, not only does our but also our minds and hearts are exposed to negative and toxic stimulants. It is a fact and although I am all for being positive thinking, you have to wipe clean the windows of your mind and heart of negativity, to let the light enter. Everything in nature sheds unwanted waste regularly, yet instead of acknowledging and letting go of our disappointments, loneliness, anger, we ignore them totally and mask it with smile.

In our life, in our emotional life, we have no system to regularly take stock and get rid of toxic emotions on daily basis. We shed skin, our cells renew, and in the same way we shed tears or vent our anger from time to time. In fact in the modern times, we love to be so busy, so that there is no time to analyze. We live under the illusion, that if that the water is never still, we will never be able to see the monster hiding in it and we are safe. Ignorance of self is bliss.

Spending time alone, acknowledging the presence of so called negative emotions, will help us expunge them and reenergize ourselves for new experiences. If we don’t sweep clean the unwarranted from our hearts and minds regularly, before long the damage it does will be beyond repair.

Some Funny Quotes to make you smile - by P.G Woodhouse

 

Memories are like mulligatawny soup in a cheap restaurant. It is best not to stir them.

The fascination of shooting as a sport depends almost wholly on whether you are at the right or wrong end of the gun

It is a good rule in life never to apologize. The right sort of people do not want apologies, and the wrong sort take a mean advantage of them.

Marriage isn't a process of prolonging the life of love, but of mummifying the corpse.

At the age of eleven or thereabouts women acquire a poise and an ability to handle difficult situations which a man, if he is lucky, manages to achieve somewhere in the later seventies.

He had just about enough intelligence to open his mouth when he wanted to eat, but certainly no more.

 
Everything in life that’s any fun, as somebody wisely observed, is either immoral, illegal or fattening.

If there is one thing I dislike, it is the man who tries to air his grievances when I wish to air mine.

As we grow older and realize more clearly the limitations of human happiness, we come to see that the only real and abiding pleasure in life is to give pleasure to other people.

Woman is the unfathomable, incalculable mystery, the problem that we men can never hope to solve.

There is no surer foundation for a beautiful friendship than a mutual taste in literature.

Calm your Nerves -Quotes to Relax

Stress is the trash of modern life - we all generate it but if you don't dispose of it properly, it will pile up and overtake your life.
Terri Guillemets

 

Sometimes the most important thing in a whole day is the rest we take between two deep breaths.
Etty Hillesum


“Believe what you believe and it will be,
believe what others believe and they will consume you!”
― Stanley Victor Paskavic


It's so hard to forget pain, but it's even harder to remember sweetness. We have no scar to show for happiness. We learn so little from peace.”
― Chuck Palahniuk, Diary



“To look life in the face, always, to look life in the face, and to know it for what it is...at last, to love it for what it is, and then to put it away.” 


 The day I understood everything, was the day I stopped trying to figure everything out. The day I knew peace was the day I let everything go.”
― C. JoyBell C.


Every person needs to take one day away.  A day in which one consciously separates the past from the future.  Jobs, family, employers, and friends can exist one day without any one of us, and if our egos permit us to confess, they could exist eternally in our absence.  Each person deserves a day away in which no problems are confronted, no solutions searched for.  Each of us needs to withdraw from the cares which will not withdraw from us.”
― Maya Angelou, Wouldn't Take Nothing for My Journey Now 

Fall in love with Fall -Some quotes

 

“Autumn is a second spring when every leaf is a flower.”
― Albert Camus

“Delicious autumn! My very soul is wedded to it, and if I were a bird I would fly about the earth seeking the successive autumns.”
― George Eliot

Bittersweet October.  The mellow, messy, leaf-kicking, perfect pause between the opposing miseries of summer and winter.  ~Carol Bishop Hipp

Winter is an etching, spring a watercolor, summer an oil painting and autumn a mosaic of them all.  ~Stanley Horowitz

A woodland in full color is awesome as a forest fire, in magnitude at least, but a single tree is like a dancing tongue of flame to warm the heart.  ~Hal Borland

“Autumn, the year's last, loveliest smile.” William Cullen Bryan
Every leaf speaks bliss to me, fluttering from the autumn tree." Emily Bronte

"Summer is already better, but the best is autumn. It is mature, reasonable and serious, it glows moderately and not frivolously...It cools down, clears up, makes you reasonable..."Valentin, Finnish writer

“How beautifully leaves grow old. How full of light and color are their last days.” John Burroughs
Just before the death of flowers,
And before they are buried in snow,
There comes a festival season
When nature is all aglow."
Author Unknown

How much are you worth?

The comment made by my11 year old diagnosing my current insecure condition (do you think I look old /fat) to having an issue of low self-esteem, made me want to smile and think at the same time.  “Look in the mirror mom and say there is no one like me – I am the best “, were his words. Open hearts and open minds give kids the advantage of visualizing things from a higher vantage point and perceiving situations clearer than us adults.

In the western society, the concept of having high-esteem is regarded as indispensable tool for young children to grow and rightly so. I have been reading about the seemingly disadvantages of it, for instance they really don’t know where they actually stand compared to their peers. Yet, growing up in an Asian culture, where your worth (esteem) is weighed by how you fulfill the standard requirements of the society’s expectation of what is norm, it is very easy to lose the worth of self. Letting others decide your worth is a trap that leads to gratifying others to increase our self-esteem.

The persistent struggle with low self-esteem is very prevalent among girls. Sometimes, the shadows of its remnants are visible even when we grow older. Building healthy self-worth takes not only time, but consistent input and effort of parents. We cannot control what the child goes through in school,   – bullying or some reckless remark by an adult, but we can definitely show our kids that only they have the right to define who they are.

We are all fragile to some extent, some more liable to break and damage than others. Some are fortunate to have the support system of friends in adult life to lift you up and show you a glimpse of your real worth – a creation of God, when you are down, some not so. 

Whatever be the case, let us promise to teach our kids, to always see  in mirror, what we as parents first saw when we held them in our arms, a precious and priceless source of joy.

PAINS

This morning, thanks to social media, I was chatting to a friend of mine. Discussing about all the problems we face as a generation of boom and bust economy , I mentioned to her feeling low and letting all the negativity seeping in through the cracks of life experiences.Career stagnation, teenage blues  and aging parents along with all the pieces of broken dreams mocking at you, now starting to show on our faces.

Growing old is not about aging , it is all about  having fun and finding  joy in spite of challenges faced. Some people have easier life , some tougher, but in the end it  all melts down to how you treat the undesirable incidents and people in your life. Do you let the muck stick to you, or do you wash it away with love for self and others? Whether we like it or not, we are born with certain personalities. It is easier for some to be positive, while others have to learn it along the way and like we all know it is not easy to go against the flow.

PAINS is what I am trying to learn. I am great with the positive attitude when the journey is smooth, but also very susceptible to the negative incidents around me. Maybe it has something to with being sensitive or something to do with being self-centered.

So here I am trying to take my friend's advice and learning to practice Positive Thinking In Negative Situations -PAINS.

The reason behind…..

Does all that happens to us is random or does it have a reason?  I have contemplated on this question, and the more I dig deep into my own life so far, every single incident that happened taught me a lesson. If you are thinking that the lessons learned most times, do not seem in proportion to the suffering, I agree with you. 

Just like there is a reason for trees shedding leaves in fall, or for night and day, so does all that we assume to be inexplicable in our life happens to teach us something. Honestly, though I really believe, I would rather learn theoretically the lessons than going through it.

We are creatures of free-will, yet, we don’t choose our place of birth or the family we are born in. Sometimes I feel it is like free-will is playing a game of chess with fate, each move by human beings is counteracted by destiny. Sometimes the move made by fate is in our favor; sometimes we are forced to take a step backward. It doesn’t matter how much a tree wishes to bloom in winter, it still has to wait for spring. So it is with us, we might desire our problems to be resolved instantly, but have to wait for the time to be ripe for it to materialize.

Quotable quotes by George Bernard Shaw

Those who talk most about the blessings of marriage and the constancy of its vows are the very people who declare that if the chain were broken and the prisoners left free to choose, the whole social fabric would fly asunder. You cannot have the argument both ways. If the prisoner is happy, why lock him in? If he is not, why pretend that he is?

The worst sin towards our fellow creatures is not to hate them, but to be indifferent to them: that's the essence of inhumanity.

Marriage is popular because it combines the maximum of temptation with the maximum of opportunity.

 
 There are two tragedies in life. One is not to get your heart's desire. The other is to get it

We don't stop playing because we grow old; we grow old because we stop playing.

The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place.

Democracy is a device that insures we shall be governed no better than we deserve

 

Choose silence of all virtues, for by it you hear other men's imperfections, and conceal your own

 

The only service a friend can really render is to keep up your courage by holding up to you a mirror in which you can see a noble image of yourself.

 

 The moment we want to believe something, we suddenly see all the arguments for it, and become blind to the arguments against it.

Perhaps the greatest social service that can be rendered by anybody to the country and to mankind is to bring up a family.