Second Chances

Do you think I know what I am doing?
that for one breath or half-breath, I belong to myself?
as much as a pen knows what its writing
or the ball can guess where it is going next-Rumi

What do you do when your slate has been wiped clean? You either mop over the loss or pick yourself up and decide to live life with a whole new perspective. Starting life anew can be one of the most liberating experiences if you can conquer your fear for change and failure or else one of the most painful experiences.. Every step is a new opportunity, every opportunity is a potential life path towards success and happiness. 

There are some  with heightened self-awareness who know what they want when they are young, some who are happy not figuring out - being just where they are and some like me who have spent last 30 years trying to decipher the purpose of her life. Life is a journey with death as the final destination, yet that cannot be the purpose of our existence. Anyone who has struggled to find the purpose of their existence, would agree that the uncertainty  can be excruciatingly painful  to a certain extent. 

Trying to figure out what you want in life happens twice - once in your teens , where you most likely go with the flow , especially if you have not developed your sense of self and second time - in your 40s when you realize that you are past the half-mark of life. Second time round, either the dissatisfaction of your present life jerks you up by your collar or circumstances in life punches you and  throws you in a hole, where the only way to climb out is by  saying a warm hello and embracing  your own strengths and weaknesses.  

Taking chances the second time round is easier for some and still a struggle for others. The moment fear and insecurity  raises its ugly head, and paralyzes us into inaction, we freeze and revert back to our old self. Yet I personally feel that I am more prone to taking  risks, realizing by experience that most of my anxiety and worries  in my life were often unfounded . Of course being a chronic worrier, it is easier said than done. 

Yet here I am , still a work in progress,  opening my heart and soul to any new possibilities life offers me. Believing firmly in the adage of  Scarlett O' Hara in Gone with the Wind -"Tomorrow is another Day ".