Work in Progress

Six months ago I wrote a post on how to change careers in your 40s. No, this is no "yes I did it " story, I am still a work in progress. Yet when I look back, I feel pretty proud about how I handled adversity. I wasn't exemplary in the least - not the optimistic, life is precious, I am grateful - crap. There were days when I forced myself to me that - feel positive, but there were days, when I was praying for an earthquake or any possible disaster that could solve all my problems. Some people are naturally positive, some are "learned optimistic" -or should I dare say pseudo optimistic. I fall in the later category. As you grow older, you tend to adjust your behavior to what is deemed acceptable in the society. We learn to please others to avoid confrontations, losing our essence in the process.
The journey in self-discovery is still in its nascent stages, and hopefully I will be able to figure out the purpose of the life before it is too late. There are been a few lessons that I have learned though :
1. Pretending to be happy when you are hurting is not without repercussions - you lose your health in bargain. Sometimes we stay so long in the denial mode that we end up believing the illusion that everything is right.
2. Friends who can listen incessantly to your whining and complaining are few and therefore precious. Keep them close and you will never need a therapist.
3. Time heals - but when things go wrong - time stops - everyday seems like a millennium.
4. We don't control everything - so we are not responsible for all the undesirable incidents in our lives. It is easier to forgive your self when you realize that you are not the center of the universe .
5. Every - and believe every thing in life has a price - and the sooner we understand it - the easier it is to pay the price .
6. Understand no one is truly happy. We all have some lacuna in our lives. Most people just don't like to admit it . In the process of deceiving others they end up falling a prey to their own deceit.
7. The only way to be happy (believe me -I am able to capture just fleeting moments of it) is to live in the present. No it is not as easy as it sounds - it takes years and years of practice. But yes , that is the only way.
8. Laughter is the best medicine - so laugh to keep your sanity and cry to wash your soul .

Everyday you learn something surprising about yourself - I still am .....

The mirage of youth

Do you remember when we were kids and we just couldn’t wait to grow up. At 3 we wanted to be 5 so that we could go to school like the big kids and then when we turned 9, 13 was the age to be a teenager with all the freedom that came with being a young teenager. 13 was fine, but, 16 seemed to come with more freedom; it came with a


learner’s driver’s licence and of course more in charge of our lives. Next were 19, weaving the dreams of completing graduation, driving, independence and our first step into the world as a young adult.



Stepping into the world of dreams, marks the commencement of a long wait for the mirage of perfect life – waiting for Mr. Maybe Right, perfect job, and happiness that is expected. Entering the world of adulthood quickly opens up avenues of disappointment, rejection, and the wait for the “perfect life” seems all the more distant. After few years of working, relationships and all that makes up life, if we are lucky, we might discover our purpose in life, and fine tune our goals. Congrats, but wait, before you embark on your new found hope of living you have to wait for the mortgage to pay off, the infants to grow older and go to school – which stretches to college, to be free of the responsibilities to finally realize that you are in your 40s and approaching mid life crisis!



When I reached 30, I did mourn the end of my youth, but a decade later in hindsight, the 30 was pretty good. 40 brings with it the wisdom, that it is only going downhill from here, and all you want is the time to slow down. Savoring every moment, wishing for the pause button on the remote of life, you finally maybe start enjoying life. Now, I have learnt better than to talk or plan ahead for the next decade – 10 years from now, if I am lucky, I will be in 50s and looking forward for retirement and pension.



So, although late in life, I have learnt my lesson, and am going to breathe in every new moment in my life in the futile hope that it will slow down time and the imminent aging process