Work in Progress

Six months ago I wrote a post on how to change careers in your 40s. No, this is no "yes I did it " story, I am still a work in progress. Yet when I look back, I feel pretty proud about how I handled adversity. I wasn't exemplary in the least - not the optimistic, life is precious, I am grateful - crap. There were days when I forced myself to me that - feel positive, but there were days, when I was praying for an earthquake or any possible disaster that could solve all my problems. Some people are naturally positive, some are "learned optimistic" -or should I dare say pseudo optimistic. I fall in the later category. As you grow older, you tend to adjust your behavior to what is deemed acceptable in the society. We learn to please others to avoid confrontations, losing our essence in the process.
The journey in self-discovery is still in its nascent stages, and hopefully I will be able to figure out the purpose of the life before it is too late. There are been a few lessons that I have learned though :
1. Pretending to be happy when you are hurting is not without repercussions - you lose your health in bargain. Sometimes we stay so long in the denial mode that we end up believing the illusion that everything is right.
2. Friends who can listen incessantly to your whining and complaining are few and therefore precious. Keep them close and you will never need a therapist.
3. Time heals - but when things go wrong - time stops - everyday seems like a millennium.
4. We don't control everything - so we are not responsible for all the undesirable incidents in our lives. It is easier to forgive your self when you realize that you are not the center of the universe .
5. Every - and believe every thing in life has a price - and the sooner we understand it - the easier it is to pay the price .
6. Understand no one is truly happy. We all have some lacuna in our lives. Most people just don't like to admit it . In the process of deceiving others they end up falling a prey to their own deceit.
7. The only way to be happy (believe me -I am able to capture just fleeting moments of it) is to live in the present. No it is not as easy as it sounds - it takes years and years of practice. But yes , that is the only way.
8. Laughter is the best medicine - so laugh to keep your sanity and cry to wash your soul .

Everyday you learn something surprising about yourself - I still am .....

The Benefits of Solitude

Lately I have been spending more and more time in my own company. My love affair with solitude did not begin of free will, but in the end I was the one seeking time with me. I am not an introvert, not by any means. I love people, but over the years, I have learnt to appreciate the time I spend with my thoughts.



Anyone who loves to read knows what I am talking about. It’s just you and the imaginary world created by the words in the black and white. You add color to the words; you can be who you are. If you don’t enjoy your own company, how do you expect others do?



Meditation, contemplation are the synonyms of solitude or more likely the by product of being in your own company. Human beings by nature are social and I can’t imagine living all by myself in isolation. Yet, I feel that when I spend some time by myself, no T.V, no music and at times no books – just watching birds pick food or the clouds changing shapes, it brings me closer to myself.



Here are some of the benefits of solitude – it can be 15 minutes by yourself (again no electronics), hours or days – it all depends on you



1. Contemplation: Contemplation is these days regarded more with contempt. Thinking too much or reflecting on issues is considered an impediment in this fast paced world of action. Yet, unless you reflect on issues, how can you resolve it?

2. Clear your head: When you don’t have to “talk”, or listen to other people’s voices, you tune into your own frequency and listen to your heart. Solitude gives you the opportunity to focus on “yourself”.

3. Be who you are: You are in your own company and just the freedom to be who you are, rather than who you should be, gives you a glimpse of what you are capable of. In our daily rush in life , with all the protocols, and etiquettes, the should do list, want to do list, have to do list, at times, its good to spare some to just be “YOU”. To accept yourself and love yourself is not possible if you are in other people’s company all the time.

4. Recharge your soul: We all talk about healthy body, but no one wants to talk about healthy mind and soul. It is very easy to feel isolated and lonely especially when you are always surrounded by people and “noise”. This is truer when you when you are going through a difficult phase in your life. Learn to enjoy your time alone – this is the strength building exercise for your mind and soul.

5. Happiness: Lastly, when you learn to be happy in your own company, none of the external factors will affect your happiness easily. Come what may, you would still have control of some source of happiness that no one else can take from you- yourself.

So, take some time off – go for a walk – without music, sit and have a cup of tea by yourself, or just watch the leaves fall –the benefits of solitude will dawn on you too soon.