Every now and then we have to take stock of our lives. Redefine our goals, and navigate our lives in the direction we intended to travel. It is so easy to just get involved in the day to day matters, just flow with the times, that often it is too late before we realize that we are far away from where we wanted to go. I know we all are heading towards our final destination, but at least we get to choose the road and journey. Life is beautiful, life flows through our veins, resounds through our heartbeats, we are life.
Living is an art , some are talented and instinctively know how lead a full life, while others like me are life long students trying to unwrap this gift of life. Living is not just having fun, not just being happy all the time, I am not sure it is even possible. Life is full of contradictions. Look everywhere around you, nature is full of contradictions.
Till a year ago, when I first realized that the grey hair were here to stay and grow old with me, I really didn't know how to deal with these visible signs of aging. I never considered myself a narscistic, but the resentment against the decaying body - the deteriorating eye sight and the less than attractive sagging skin made me realize I am not immune to the less than flattering image.Funny how our body grows older, but our essence remains the same.
I have realized learning to accept myself for who I am, is the first step to growing up. My intrinsic traits are never going to change. I can be more conscious about my flaws, consciously steer my thoughts away, but to expect that growing up would change me into a person that I perceived to be better is foolishness.
I am full of self- doubts, pessimistic maybe to a certain extent, serious and boring, and although I would love to turn myself into a positive, confident woman and wear suitable masks appropriate for the moment, I know that my basic nature will always remain the same, toned down maybe, but still the same.
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