The curse of "should"

Most of lives are led  by the dictates of society.We all follow through the motions of life on auto-pilot. Habits and societal expectations become the guidelines. How many times do we look into ourselves and ask what is it I really want ? Most of our decisions are taken on account of "shoulds" and "have tos".

I am a very "should" person. Trying to fit into the expectations of my role as a woman, wife, daughter. Come to think of it, who decided for you how you are expected to behave? The pressure of the society are the invisible barriers.

Recently I have been very fortunate in connecting with people who have followed their own path. These are the people who had the courage to take time to analyze what it is they "want" from their life. Our wants are buried  deep, shrouded by our fears, expectations of others , roles defined by society, that to bring it to light requires strong will power and inclination. Not to say that wants don't change with time.

We are taught at a very young age about the appropriate behaviors, the gender expectations, the relationship expectations,  and before we know it deep down our own dreams, our desires are lost in the book of rules. Instead of celebrating this beautiful life, we try to mold our life according to the unspoken expectations  of society and familiar pressures. This is particularly true for people pleasers - people who are always looking for validation of their existence by making others happy. 

Want represents love - self-directed decisions. When your decisions are motivated by genuine desire of love and want, they bring joy. Most times our wants clash with our responsibilities, or  perceived responsibilities. What really stops us from doing what we want? Considering this is the only life we have, why do we fail short in courage to just follow our hearts and our dreams? Is it because it is safer and more convenient to follow the tried and tested rules of the society or we have a self-image to protect?

Whatever be the case, the decisions we take from our own self-will, guided by our desires and conscience definitely play a key ingredient in our life's recipe for leading a happy life.