A hole in the heart

A tiny hole in the heart, that will never be filled; this is how my 12 year old son described the feeling of heart break. No topics are off limits in my house – even when at times I might cringe inside having to partake in discussions that would have been off limits while growing up.

The precursor of this discussion was a song –in Hindi, which when translated went by – I have no identity without you,  I am nothing without you. This all consuming, destructive imagery of love, got me asking the opinion of my son, Or maybe it was a maternal instinct that wanted to protect him from disillusionment and pain in life he might face later in life. Being an adolescent he is after all now in  the nascent stage of crushes and infatuations.

I was surprised by his clarity and his wisdom. .Romantic love, the pining, the waiting, the dull ache, all unreasonable, inexplicable, deceptively foolish, yet very real.Breakups, unrequited love, separation caused by death, all cause heartaches, damages that are so personal that sharing and expecting empathy is not always possible. Yet  life goes on, we walk around the hole, flagging  a sign of "caution" around the hole, avoiding falling into the dark pit -who knows how deep is the hurt?

I don't  think we ever get over a loss? I know we learn to live around the pain, but honestly does the void ever gets filled?. Dealing with grief, trying to fill the vacuum, can test the best of us. Yet life goes on, the pain slowly becomes a dull  ache that you learn to live with, merging to  be a part of yourself , making your heart softer, vulnerable to the pains of other people.