Some quotes by the Dalai Lama

Whenever I find myself deviating into the old habit of worrying and let anxiety  take precedence over my life, I find going through some of these quotes by the Dalai Lama. it  really helps me get my focus back on track. His thoughts seamlessly blends the wisdom of ancient scriptures with practical solutions to face the challenges in the today's modern world.
 
Happiness is not something ready made. It comes from your own actions.”
“Love is the absence of judgment.”  
“If a problem is fixable, if a situation is such that you can do something about it, then there is no need to worry. If it's not fixable, then there is no help in worrying. There is no benefit in worrying whatsoever.” 
“Judge your success by what you had to give up in order to get it.”  
“Someone else action should not determine your response.” 
  “Give the ones you love wings to fly, roots to come back and reasons to stay.”
The ultimate authority must always rest with the individual’s own reason and critical analysis
Man sacrifices his health in order to make money. Then he sacrifices money to recuperate his health. Then he is so anxious about the future that he doesn't enjoy the present: the result being that he does not live in the present or the future; he lives as if he is never going to die, and then dies having never really lived.
 This is my simple religion. There is no need for temples; no need for complicated philosophy. Our own brain, our own heart is our temple; the philosophy is kindness.
 All major religious traditions carry basically the same message, that is love, compassion and forgiveness ... the important thing is they should be part of our daily lives.
If you want others to be happy, practice compassion. If you want to be happy, practice compassion
Follow the three Rs: Respect for self, Respect for others, and Responsibility for all your actions

Going on 13.....

Soon you will complete 12 years  and I am bracing myself to some more of the mood swings that seem to be a part of you ever since you turned 11 (or was it 1?). Being the youngest in the family comes with its perks, and like with everything else drawbacks.
I know there are days when you are absolutely certain that everybody in the family hates you (some of the drawbacks of being the youngest in the family), especially when your brother presses all the right buttons to trigger the yelling and shouting, and slips away nonchalantly saying I don’t know what’s wrong.
I have learnt to give generously from you  – give till you can give no more. Dear son, give only what is yours though (you know what I am talking about), sell stuff you think you  don’t need, only after you have taken our advice – please till you are like 50 at least.
I admire your commitment to friendship. I have seen you go to great lengths to take care of friends, seen you be genuinely happy when they succeed and keep their secrets too.
Your kind heart and loyalty towards family is something I really love. Holding grandpa’s hand every night for six months so he doesn’t feel lonely at night (considering he cannot talk), making tea for me or giving me blanket when I am cold – I am watching it all.
You surprise me when you give me a hug and say “mom you are pretty” – I know your dad told you to be “nice” to mom, especially considering all the “mom insults” you boys share in school and the terrible phase I had to patiently bear  (some of the “insults” I admit were pretty good ). I am so glad you are over that stage (?). I will always treasure our reading Tom Sawyer together – it was fun sharing one of my favorite books with you. I still feel I read and you listened more rather than the other way  round. Of course I know you will dispute this claim for ever.
I am really proud of your excellent work ethics, be it distributing newspapers, mowing neighbor’s lawns, making Youtube videos and now your Minecraft server. (I am sorry I doubted you and your buddy Jake). You make me want to try and work harder and better.
There are of course times when you make me want to pull my hair out in frustration – and I understand the reason (like you said it is puberty – hormonal changes and other stuff they taught you in school), yet we both battle along, building hopefully happy memories.  In the meantime I am patiently waiting for your mood swings to settle down….and hopefully someday we will both have “peace in our hearts”, to quote you and be calm and collected like the others in the family. But nay – that would be too boring. So be yourself, laugh like you do, throw some tantrums too (I am too used to the battles), and always believe that you are loved by your family and whatever you may think of your brother now – years from now I know you both will be best friends.

Happy Women's Day - some quotes to smile

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Women get the last word in every argument. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

Despite my thirty years of research into the woman soul, I have not yet been able to answer the great question that has never been answered: What does a woman want?

- Sigmund Freud.

I am the boss in my house (my wife said so) and I wear the pants in the family (my wife tells me which ones to wear). And that’s final (per my wife).

Women don’t want to hear what you think. Women want to hear what they think – in a deeper voice.

I’d much rather be a woman than a man. Women can cry, they can wear cute clothes, and they are the first to be rescued off of sinking ships.

Howiver, I'm not denyin' the women are foolish:  God Almighty made 'em to match the men.  ~George Eliot, "The Harvest Supper," Adam Bede

There are women who do not like to cause suffering to many men at a time, and who prefer to concentrate on one man:  These are the faithful women.  ~Alfred Capus

No matter how happily a woman may be married, it always pleases her to discover that there is a nice man who wishes that she were not.  ~H.L. Mencken

International Women's Day

International Woman's Day - strange that we need to have a day to celebrate the presence of half of the world. Just goes to show that all is not well in the world. I was born and raised in a country ranked among the top 5 worst places to be born as a woman. A country synonymous with female infanticides, child marriages, rapes, dowry killings and honor killings. A country where when you walk down the streets, you are always looking over your shoulders, where you are expected to either stay home or risk being groped in crowded transit. You grow up knowing nothing different, being obedient was and in some cases is still a norm. I don't want to go into the details of what is wrong about the patriarchal society and how stifling it can be for the best of us to survive.
When I first came to Canada, I was amazed at the choices women had - in careers, in choosing their life partners, in choosing their lifestyles. Yet when I came across a hoarding proclaiming how about "pro-choice" was equivalent to murder, the blatant sexism struck me as to how far we actually have to go before we can say that yes we are equals.
Women and men are different and it would be stupid for anyone of us to believe anything other than this. Feminism is not about being single, or hating men, or doing things to prove men are less than us. Feminism is about having the fundamental rights to choose what is right or wrong for us. It is the fight for the right to be treated with the same humanity as men, given the same freedom of choice.
Crimes specific to women are rampant all over and I don't it diminishing in near future any soon. Yet, for me feminism is just the 50% of world's population saying that we maybe different from men, but we are in no way less important. It seems at times ridiculous, that although the role of men in procreation has become ambiguous with technology, they still get to decide what we do with our body or our lives.

The onus to bringing a change begins at home and as women we have to start with examining how we view ourselves, and other women. Until and unless we support each other, teach our children to respect both the sexes, the cycle will not be broken. As a mother every action of mine is scrutinized by my children.The respect I demand, will teach them in later years to hopefully share with their partners. If it is girl child, she will know that a woman can be strong and independent and every time you teach yourself with respect, you are teaching your sons that treating any woman less than "full" human being is not acceptable.
Freedom to choose - that is all we want. It is my body, my life and it is my decision. Motherhood is fine, for me womanhood is more important. I am a woman first and then a mother and I am not ashamed to say so. Stand up for each other and be proud of the achievements of other women is all we can ask from each other

Letter to my 15 year old son

 Letter to my 15 year old

Son, as you are counting days to your 15^th birthday, I just wanted to share some of the wisdom that I have learnt from my experiences. You will as you grow older have your own life experiences, some bitter and some sweet, yet some universal truths don’t change.

1. Be kind: Kindness is the most underrated trait. I know when you are young- smartness, intelligence and looks matter more, but developing a kind heart is what will make you a man. The cut-throat competition, the harsh reality of life, money, and success is all good, but without having a heart that empathizes with others, respects the feelings and beliefs of other, you will never find happiness in life. Every day you help someone without any expectation, you are closer to being the person I wanted you to be.
2. Courage: Although as a mother, I wish you all the best, but the fact remains that you will face challenges in life. You will face heartaches (if you haven’t already), setbacks, disappointments, all tools to chisel your courage. Courage doesn’t happen overnight, you have to fall and rise again, feel the fear and yet do it again to become stronger. Courage is following your heart, having faith and doing the right thing always (like telling the truth when lying could be an easier option- you know what I am hinting at). There are no shortcuts, no guarantees in life, only faith and courage. I know we discussed about God and how you are still trying to figure out your beliefs( which is fine with me ) but when you do find your path believe me, faith is what will keep you from looking forward to the new day.
3. Be the best version of yourself: All I really want is for you to go out in the world, without any fear, and try everyday to fulfill the potential you were born with. Be the person God intended you to be. Everyday learn little, give more, share more and spread cheer.
4. Life is good: Create your own reality and your own definition of success. Life is beautiful, life is ever-changing. Live every moment to the fullest. Believe in the power of karma, do well and be happy. Remember that no one can take away from you what is yours, and the only thing you have control over is your mind and your attitude – heart is a different story. (I will leave that for when you are 18).
5. Lastly, remember the real measure of success is the love you get from your family and friends. Invest time in good friends, love your brother (he will be your resource if you ever have to rally against me) and always respect yourself.

You know you are loved, and when you go out in the world, it will be your opportunity to shine. How you behave, how you react will decide the success or failure of  my  parenting.

Angels and Blessings

“Reflect upon your present blessings -- of which every man has many -- not on your past misfortunes, of which all men have some.”  



Blessings come in all forms. All you need are fresh set of eyes, a heart filled with gratitude and kindness for people around you.Blessings might be obvious - having healthy kids, food to eat, and friends and family who love you. Yet there are times, when you have to peer through the darkness to see the circle of protection that makes the tough ride easier.

Finding a flat tire in a foreign land, with the jack broken, can be a stroke of bad luck . Finding a U-Haul store just across the street, lending you the tools to change the tire  that is blessing. You always have a choice whether you want to look at the flat tire or look at the help you are getting. All I know from experience is that the more I focus on the "help" real or sometimes imagined, the more I attract good vibes.

Your life is what you make it to be. If I believe that I am surrounded by angels, that is my truth. And any truth, that reinforces my belief that I am not alone in my journey, makes life easier. My logical mind sometimes digresses with the fact that sighting rainbows mean something more than just light dispersed, yet it calms my heart to know that help is just around the corner.

So create your own realities, your own mood boosters and hold on to the thread of faith; for even though the journey can be bumpy at times, you know you have help at hand.

Happy Valentine's Day - Quotes on Love

To love someone deeply gives you strength. Being loved by someone deeply gives you courage.
- Lao Tsu

 

 “I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where. I love you simply, without problems or pride: I love you in this way because I do not know any other way of loving but this, in which there is no I or you, so intimate that your hand upon my chest is my hand, so intimate that when I fall asleep your eyes close.” 

 

“Let me not to the marriage of true minds
Admit impediments. Love is not love
Which alters when it alteration finds,
Or bends with the remover to remove.
O no, it is an ever-fixed mark
That looks on tempests and is never shaken; 

 

“How do you spell 'love'?" - Piglet
"You don't spell it...you feel it." - Pooh”
― A.A. Milne

 

“When I am with you, we stay up all night.
When you're not here, I can't go to sleep.
Praise God for those two insomnias!
And the difference between them.”  

Love is being honest with yourself at all times
being honest with the other person at all times
telling, listening, respecting the truth
and never pretending
Love is the source of reality”
― Susan Polis Schutz

 

“To be fully seen by somebody, then, and be loved anyhow - this is a human offering that can border on miraculous.”  

Love possesses not nor would it be possessed; For love is sufficient unto love. And think not you can direct the course of love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course. Love has no other desire but to fulfil itself."

 

“In your light I learn how to love. In your beauty, how to make poems. You dance inside my chest where no-one sees you, but sometimes I do, and that sight becomes this art.” 

 

Even
After
All this time
The Sun never says to the Earth,

"You owe me."

Look
What happens
With a love like that,
It lights the whole sky