Is marriage a gamble? Life is constantly changing and it is foolish to expect people to remain the same .Its not definitely by chance that people have successful relationships that last decades. Luck does play a factor in finding you a compatible partner who you can love and who loves you, but for this love to translate into a successful and profitable partnership involves hard work.
Marriage is a partnership, a synergistic relation, which if nurtured with love, respect and time can empower you and be a blessing ,if not make life hell for you. And like Mark Twain says “Love seems the swiftest, but it is the slowest of all growths. No man or woman really knows what perfect love is until they have been married a quarter of a century”. The challenge is for the relation to not only survive but, to thrive till it reaches “the perfect love”.
Some things that you can do to increase the odds are:
Love and Respect: Romantic love does not last for everyone through the years. In fact if your perception of marriage is that even after 10 years you are going to share the same intensity of romantic love, you are bound to be disappointed. Marriage lasts when you both respect each other as individuals and respect means giving space to grow. If you share respect even when you are really mad at each other you will think twice before uttering words you will regret.
Honesty and Trust: Trust you have to gain and of course maintain. There will be times when you feel betrayed, times when you are hurt, but if the relationship is based mostly on honesty, it can survive anything.
Communication: Now that’s one factor which is very complicated, because women and men communicate differently. Women are more expressive, prone to details and dare I say exaggeration. Men stick to facts. If both understand that we are different it makes life easier. This is where physical intimacy comes in – nothing says I love your better than a passionate kiss or better still making love.
Compatibility: This should have been the first factor, but being a product of successful arranged marriage, I believe you are as compatible as you want to be. If you share the core values and views about life, you can ride through every wave in life.
Humour: Never underestimate the power of sense of humor in a relationship. You have to take every impediment that comes your way lightly.
Spring clean: Yes every now and then you need to take a stock of your relationship. Take stock of where things stand too; wipe the dust of your relation before it sets in too deep.
I seriously believe that these are essentials in having a successful marriage, because marriage is not just love and passion, it’s a journey with a promise to be together.
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