Raising kids is challenging enough, raising good kids who will not go on self-destruct mode, needs more refined parenting skills, but parents who have raised high achieving kids have aced their scorecard for sure or that is what I believed. But is it really so?
There is so much literature on how to raise your kids well - although I am still unsure what is "well". I haven't read a lot on parenting styles - but observing friends and people around me has been a revelation for me. I am a pretty laid back person - or that is what I think I am.(my family and friends opinions might differ - in fact I know it differs). This better underachieve than fail trait, has served me well, but at times I feel that my own lack of ambition has trickled down to my kids, which I try and overcompensate in my own weird way.
The issue I face as a parent is - how much do I push my kids? I want them to reach their full potential, but at the same time, I want them to live life true to themselves.. There are times when all you want to do is just give them a hug and make sure nothing or no one hurts them, yet at the same time, I realize that they need to be vaccinated (yes I believe in vaccination !) against the ills of life.
I feel awful pushing my son into the big bad world, watching him transition from the world is is my oyster, to yes this life and this is how you make a living. I honestly don't know if there is ever a right balance between mothering and smothering your kids with love, which is so easy , and being the disciplinary teacher who is ensuring that they have all the skills needed to survive in this "life is not fair" real world.
Is my prime duty to just smother them with love, or is it to make them ready to face the inevitable heartbreaks and failures that we all face? I am not sure - and never will be. Or is it just to make sure that they are secure that they are loved unconditionally? Parents are riddled with guilt - we know we could all do better, even after we have given our best. I guess that is what it is in the end we are just there to guide -with our limited knowledge and the do the best we can with what we have.
Our children give us joy, as a baby, as toddler and youth - every stage is an experience in itself. But I really believe, that the real joy, the moment of pride is when they know how to choose between right and wrong, when they are able to rise and dust themselves up after a fall and move along without feeling broken, and when they know life is all about treating others with kindness.
The issue I face as a parent is - how much do I push my kids? I want them to reach their full potential, but at the same time, I want them to live life true to themselves.. There are times when all you want to do is just give them a hug and make sure nothing or no one hurts them, yet at the same time, I realize that they need to be vaccinated (yes I believe in vaccination !) against the ills of life.
I feel awful pushing my son into the big bad world, watching him transition from the world is is my oyster, to yes this life and this is how you make a living. I honestly don't know if there is ever a right balance between mothering and smothering your kids with love, which is so easy , and being the disciplinary teacher who is ensuring that they have all the skills needed to survive in this "life is not fair" real world.
Is my prime duty to just smother them with love, or is it to make them ready to face the inevitable heartbreaks and failures that we all face? I am not sure - and never will be. Or is it just to make sure that they are secure that they are loved unconditionally? Parents are riddled with guilt - we know we could all do better, even after we have given our best. I guess that is what it is in the end we are just there to guide -with our limited knowledge and the do the best we can with what we have.
Our children give us joy, as a baby, as toddler and youth - every stage is an experience in itself. But I really believe, that the real joy, the moment of pride is when they know how to choose between right and wrong, when they are able to rise and dust themselves up after a fall and move along without feeling broken, and when they know life is all about treating others with kindness.
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