A Good Marriage

Successful marriages are not made in heaven, but in everyday life . You have to work for it -you have to put in effort. Marriage is just the beginning - it is a promise of two mature individuals to be there for each in times happiness and sickness. A commitment to support each other , to be loyal and love each other.

We change, we grow, times change, circumstances change - good times, bad times, growing family, unexpected loss of wages, ill -health- name it - we all go through it at some time or another. Life happens and at times we are unable to keep up with it. Marriage requires work, marriage requires you to be present in the relationship, present , aware and willing to resolve.

Good marriages are not perfect- they cannot be, because we are not. A good partnership though makes us a better person - we are better because of the other person. Together you create a life that brings more joy than when we are alone. Yet every marriage is different. Some thrive on distance, some thrive on being physically together - whatever be the case - until and unless the relationship changes with you, changes with times, it will not survive.

Marriage is demanding - everything that is of value is demanding  and while we give, we have to learn to take too. Two people living in close proximity, sharing intimacy - physical and mental can need space to grow or they will  wilt. We can only love well, when we have known love - can only give, when we have something to give. Most people expect miracles in relationships. Expecting a cure for your loneliness, expecting it to be a fairy tale ending . Forgiving and moving forward, caring and more caring, listening, all the advices only work when we are fulfilled in ourselves ,Nobody completes us, nobody can.

One thing I have learnt is, love is what love does. Words are meaningless - but actions, small caring actions, thoughtfulness, respect and genuine concern for the other partner is what matters in the end.