Redefining Marriage

Two people meet, connect, "fall in love", and all starry eyed and with the best  intention of spending the life together, get married. Yet almost 50% of marriages and relations end on acrimonious terms. Where do we go wrong? Is it that we choose the wrong partners, or is it that our commitment is not firm enough or maybe we marry with the wrong intentions? Or is it that the relationship fails to evolve with the changing times? And the most perplexing part is where does the love go?

Maybe marriage is an old fashioned concept, maybe expecting monogamy is a foolish thought, maybe some are just not meant to stay in a long term relationship. There are breakups, due to infidelity, emotional or physical ,mental or physical abuse and then there are break ups that are inexplicable. How do two people who are so madly in love that they vow to be together forever, end up at times hating each other?

In the past couple of years I have been surprised at marriages that seemed perfect to my eyes and made in heaven, were in fact flawed and hell for those involved. I was appalled not only at the how a seemingly healthy relationship had decayed, but also at how naive I was to assume that what was projected was the truth.  Marriages are complicated to say the least, especially in modern times, when the lines defining roles and genders are so blurred. People today stay together because they want to  and not because they have to. Individually we are all independent enough to survive and thrive on our own, and the reason we do get together is that the ties will strengthen our beliefs in ourselves and make us happier than we are.

Two different individuals , each growing at a different pace, add to that  uncertainty, living together facing challenging situations, some differences are not only acceptable, they are also, necessary for a healthy relation.  So how would we define a successful marriage? Is it defined by how long you both stay together or is it defined by how well you both grow  together?

The measure of a successful marriage is not defined by the years spent together, rather  how the relationship has catalyzed in the growth  of the individuals involved. We need to redefine what is termed as successful marriage. Maybe in some cases to  ensure that the shelf life does not exceed the advent of bitterness.