Finding joy in work

Half of our life is spent in studying and working - in fact most of our waking hours are scheduled around our means to make a living. For some the word Work conjures up the image of something that pays our bills and maybe if we are  lucky our vacation. For others their careers/jobs are  more than just one aspect of their life - it consumes them to define who they are. Without their "title", without their job they are lost - their whole identity is based on what they do for a living.
Our childhood, our schooling, our learning in youth is all meant to train us to make a comfortable living and contribute to the society we live in, in our own small ways. We grow up to be adults with dreams, dreams of achieving, dreams of financial freedom and maybe achieving excellence in our field of interest.
Yet most of us end up stuck in jobs and careers that become a necessity, prisoners of either our own need to gratify our egos, or chained up by our fear of making inadequate living. When we look at nature, every living creature works for survival - but the difference between them and us is that they work for food, for building , save for shelter if needed without any resentment, without any greed. A bird collects enough seeds to survive, builds one nest to live in, that is it, unlike us humans who  are greedy to the core. Work is as natural to them as play, as natural as sleep.

Understanding the reason as to why we need to work - money, creative satisfaction, just adding meaning to your life, status or just because you were taught to believe that without achieving a certain title your identity would be incomplete, helps in making the right career choices. Money is the byproduct of work for some, for others that is the only reason to work. Whatever be the reason for your work, keep it in perspective, and you won't resent it. Spending half of your waking life in resentment will only lead to an embittered you. We all cannot find jobs that we love, yet we all can love what we do, if not for any other reason than the fact that it pays your bills. And if paying the bills is not even a criteria, take a chance, for whether we like it or not,a huge chunk of our life is spent in not just our jobs but also the people with work with.jobs and the people we work with .Keeping the right perspective in your life - the reasons makes it easier for us to make decisions.
We are more inclined to take decisions that are add meaning to our life, when we are not imprisoned by our fears. In the end we do what we have to do, but doing it with joy in our heart, will make half of our  life more meaningful.

The key to happiness

As a dynamic living organism living in a throbbing and ever changing environment, our moods, our happiness and sorrows are all  dependent on so many different factors. To assume that we should be unaffected by all the negative or positive happenings around us, is not only impossible but would make us to a certain extent inhuman. If we didn't experience sorrow, we would never be able to empathize with others.

So how would you define happiness? Is it when the list of things you are grateful for is way longer than the list of complains? Or is it when you are just at peace - not content, but just accepting your present situation the way it is without tagging it with any names? Or is it just living in the now - which takes years of serious practice to achieve?

Interacting with so many people from all walks of life, I have observed certain qualities that most "happy " people share. These are the people who radiate joy just by their mere presence.The traits they all share  are  gratitude, love and sharing unconditionally. Take out gratitude and all you are left is a list of complains, list of "have not's" and disappointments, brewing resentment and bitterness.Gratitude is being aware every minute of your day that life is a gift, that every breath we take is borrowed and that the joys in the world outnumber the sorrows. Every sunrise, every sunset, every hug, every smile is a gift and graciously accepting them, and thanking them is the only way to warm our hearts. After all, what is "being positive" if not being grateful?

The more you practice gratitude, the more you are aware of abundance overflowing in your life.Abundance that you will joyously  share with others, because when you love your life, when you are conscious of all the gifts surrounding you, all you would want is to share it others. You will be more receptive to other people's pain, more accepting of  their joys.

There can be no unconditional giving, no loving without practicing gratitude.

The Gates of Paradise - a zen parable

  

Zen parables are always inspiring.Some not easy to understand,most commanding you to contemplate to reveal the truth behind the parable. This is again one of my favourite parable,read and interprete it the way you w


A soldier named Nobushige came to Hakuin, and asked: "Is there really a paradise and a hell?"
"Who are you?" inquired Hakuin.
"I am a samurai," the warrior replied.
"You, a soldier!" exclaimed Hakuin. "What kind of ruler would have you as his guard? Your face looks like that of a beggar."
Nobushige became so angry that he began to draw his sword, but Hakuin continued: "So you have a sword! Your weapon is probably much too dull to cut off my head."
As Nobushige drew his sword Hakuin remarked: "Here open the gates of hell!"
At these words the samurai, perceiving the master's discipline, sheathed his sword and bowed.
"Here open the gates of paradise," said Hakuin.

Remedies for the Soul

Our body and mind are incredibly self-sufficient. We are blessed with every possible option  to mend our hearts and our souls and if we are lucky our minds too. Our body has its own ways of dealing with stress and although some may seem weird, they do work. The remedies are many , but the ones that work the best for me are as follows.

Sigh- a deep sigh to lighten our heart. There are times when sighs are so deep that you literally feel lighter with every deep breathe you take. It is your body's way of responding  of letting go of all that is troubling your mind.
Tears: A good cry, crying till you  can cry no more, a remedy to lighten your heart and soul. unfortunately this remedy is much maligned and in our sexist world, this wonderful remedy is limited to women. But nothing cleanses your heart and soul more than a good cry. Tears are as important as laughter, and although we are taught not to cry, to hold back, a good cry, I believe makes you stronger and more equipped to march on, to wash away all that is disturbing you.
Laughter:Nothing detoxifies your mind  more than a laughter - laughing till your stomach aches, and tears roll down your cheeks. A good laughter, one just like a good cry, is hard to control. Laughing hard, laughing genuinely, laughing till your body says it's enough I can't take it anymore, is the best remedy for your mind and body. And if you ever find the source that triggers that laughter, hold on to it for it is a precious treasure to be cherished. It can be a book, a person, a movie, whatever suits your sensibility, just hold on to it tightly.
Communicate : This is my favorite- sharing your burdens, sharing your worries and fears  and being consoled by a human touch leaves me renewed to take on life. When I say talk, it is again not the ones we have everyday, this is the bare your soul talk, sharing your most dreaded fears, your wildest dreams and just venting away without a second thought about whether the words are appropriate or not. Talk, write or simply sing along with an old song believing the words to be your own, they all help.
Sleep : Sleep, a good sound sleep is all sometimes that is needed to get your mind and body back in order. It seems to work well for some, while for others it elusive.

And then there are times when the mind is just not able to recharge on its own and that's when you resort to the last remedy  prayers - to surrender, to just believe that the soul will find its own peace.

Fear

Fears, our innate fear , our insecurities all guide our decisions in life. Most of the time we are not even aware that we are guided by our fears in making decisions.Nothing can be more emancipating than freedom from fear. The crippling, stunting emotion that is devil in action, Fear of loss, loss of someone close, of life, of self-esteem, of trust, of our comfort zone. 

Everyday, the bravest of us,stare straight in the eyes of fear and go on with our lives with head straight up. Others just pretend to shut their eyes and pretend that the looming cloud just doesn't exist. And without even acknowledging the presence of fear, how can we even expect to tackle it? 

Most of our fears are irrational other than the fear of non existence. I believe fear of death is rational to a certain extent - death symbolizing the end - and to be aware that we are not in control of when and how our presence on earth will end, can be intimidating for the most of us and more so for people who believe they control their destiny. Our decisions to participate in risky adventures, trying to defy the presence of  death, is just a way to dare it.  

Fear of commitment, fear of rejection , of  being ridiculed, fear of being betrayed all cast their shadow on how we relate to others, creating suspicions, mistrusts and unnecessary complications. Take out fear from the equation of relationships and we are ready to live life fully. Faith, the unrealistic hope in the good turn of events is the perfect antidote to fear. Faith in something larger than us, faith in our own power , brings an acceptance that most of our fears are based on our own insecurities.

Resisting change, resisting growing up, are again part of our own defense mechanism to deal with that nagging doubt that makes us weak.

Missing ......

The layered emotions of love, hatred, anger, passion, sorrow and laughter  trigger a response in us which can be be clearly defined as positive or negative.And then the emotion that I find most intriguing is the feeling of missing someone or some place. The deprivation of someone's company, the presence of absence so strong that it is pulsating and numbing at the same time.
The longing , the pining, a feeling so powerful, that it consumes your very existence. We all have lost people, been separated from our loved ones at one point or another. And all of us have experienced the endless pull of trying to fill the void in our life.
Missing, the empty space in your heart - the lacuna that nobody can fill for you. Missing someone is like trying to capture the tantalizing breeze in your hand. It is wanting  to touch, to hug, to have endless conversation, to share your everyday trials and triumphs, wanting to reach out for the unreachable.

It is a pain - a bitter sweet pain especially if someone you are missing is  gone forever. All you are left with are the memories like the whiff of perfume - intangible, sometimes vivid, sometimes blurred. Does the pain or loss ever heal? I am not sure, but the intensity does vary from time to time. Just when you think you are doing fine, and are in control, surrounded by all that you love, the feeling of longing for someone long gone creeps and grips your heart, squeezing it so tight at times that it makes it difficult to breathe. A song, a place revisited, a fragrance or just the mention can trigger off the chain of emotions, that brings out all the buried memories back to life.

Missing is intriguing because you are bringing back your memories to life, embellishing it, coloring it with your own imagination. You have the luxury of ruminating on them, to taste the times long back. It is also a reminder of what you had, a reminder that not everything lasts for ever.

Fear and decision making

Everyday we have a choice - to be proactively involved in making our own decisions or to just complain and suffer.Even in the most hopeless situations, situations that are  beyond redemption, we have the power of choosing - choosing our attitude.  You choose to be happy, you choose to search for the silver lining in the sky and you choose to have faith in universe.

Decision making, choosing proactively takes courage. You are the one who is going to be responsible for the consequences. Some decisions are forced on us, and then there are some we have the luxury of choosing. I am not too fond of choices , the pros and cons, the price  tag for every decision you make, you are not just selecting something, you are at the same time rejecting something too.
 Many times we procrastinate because of our fear of leaving our comfort zone.The false sense of security that comes with familiar surroundings and routine leads us to let time make its own decisions or others to  make decision for us. Decision making demands responsibility, it commands us to make commitment, to rise above our fears.Fears, our innate fears , our insecurities all guide our decisions in life. Most of the time we are not even aware that we are guided by our fears in making decisions.Nothing can be more emancipating than freedom from fear. The crippling, stunting emotion that is devil in action, Fear of loss, loss of someone close, of life, of self-esteem, fear of being inadequate.

The moment we include something in our life with our decision , we are automatically excluding something from our lives. Choosing is not just accepting something, it iis also rejecting something at the same time. If I am choosing a healthy life style, I am rejecting junk food. If I am choosing to be spend more time in reaching my goals at work, I am rejecting time spent with my family. Decision making gets more complicated and it helps to know the roots, the basis of our decision to feel assured that our choices are what we really want, not what we are choosing because of our fears.