Since past couple of days, I have spent hours staring at this blank screen on my laptop, trying really hard to bring to life some of the thoughts that are in my head. Sometimes words just flow in symphony, lyrical and poetic, and at times like this I am just struggling to put a decent sentence together. Why write, if words don't flow - a question that I have asked myself many times. I am aware that the writings at times are mediocre at best, yet I also know that if I were to aim to be perfect, I would quit like I have done with so many other things in my life.
I should actually say, quit before starting. Many of the things that I wanted to do in life was not even attempted, because of fear of failure. I am resilient when I have to be, but will definitely not step out of my comfort zone if not needed. I am hard on myself and tend to dwell for long on my mistakes. Taking accountability and being self-aware is fine, but when you spend too much time reflecting on things that you have done wrong, you restrict yourself and sabotage your success.
My younger son is similar to me in temperament. Last week when he failed his driving test inspite of all putting in his 100% effort (I blame overthinking ) I was a wreck. Logically, my head knew that it wasn't the end of the world, yet my heart was appalled that we would have to repeat the process of giving test again and knowing what a nerve wrecking experience it was for him, made it worse for me.It took me a couple of hours to recover till realization struck me as to how important it was for him to fail. We succeed - and this is not a cliche but my personal experience, by failing. You fail when you attempt to do something that is beyond your comfort zone. Failures make you humble and teach you to be more empathetic. We are taught to only showcase our successes, to project our strengths. Broken people, shattered dreams are rarely discussed. Yet all success stories are build on failures and how we dealt with it.
I am a sore loser, and therefore like to stay in my comfort zone. The dread of embarrassment at being incompetent has been a major deterrent in aiming high. This trepidation prevented me from even trying to get a teller's job in bank. I didn't think I was capable enough .This is my basic nature and will not change, but I want my kids to try and aim high and learn how to pick up pieces and try again. There is no shame in failing - it is what you do after is what defines you. Kids need to experience negative emotions intermittently. Rejections, disappointments, are all realities of life. There is no escape from it. Yet, rarely are we taught in school and home to develop a coping mechanism for the same. Life is not a series of plan A, B and C - It is dynamic and many times beyond our control and all our plans come to a nought. Successful people don't dwell on their failures, they learn and move on. I am trying to teach my son to be flexible, to value ingenuity, to be kind to people who make mistakes and to dust and say in Scarlett O'Hara's words " Tomorrow is another day".
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