Friendly Reminder

“A friend is a person with whom I may be sincere. Before him I may think aloud. I am arrived at last in the presence of a man so real and equal, that I may drop even those undermost garments of dissimulation, courtesy, and second thought, which men never put off, and may deal with him with the simplicity and wholeness with which one chemical atom meets another.”
― Ralph Waldo Emerson, Essays: First Series

Relationships are complex, and it is what makes us human beings so interesting — our conflicting emotions. My older son is a gamer — in layman's terms — he spends more time on virtual world than real developing virtual relations. Recently, he decided to go and meet his friends —  friends he had never met in person before. A paranoid mom that I am, I used Google Earth to  ensure that his friend wasn't living in a drug infested area and all the other crime mystery scenarios than only a mother's mind can conjure. I feel the need to confess that he is 20 years old, very level headed and an adult to the core. To cut a long story short, he had a fun-filled week connecting with his virtual friends in real world.

What is friendship? What draws us to other people ? Why do we open up our hearts and souls to some - maybe only a couple of people in our lifetime? I grew up in an era where you met friends face to face. When you leave your country, you leave behind friends. Friends who knew you before you had your adult mask on. Friends who could see through your bullshit - who knew and accepted you unconditionally. As I grow older, I realize that letting people into my life and making new friends is  a challenge. I have always been selective in letting people into my life. Time, for me is the most limited and precious resource. It makes no sense to me to spend it on people and things that do not make me happy.

Relationships in middle ages is harder to maintain. Everyone has so much on their plate, kids, family, that time needed to open up your soul to somebody becomes a rarity. Our relationships are our strengths as well as our weakness. Our relations can be one of passion, of being related by birth, but always for any relation to last, there needs to be trust and love or in short friendship. Friendship is the crux of all relations.

I have been very fortunate in my life to have some fascinating people who have not only uplifted my spirits when needed but also inspired me to be a better person. There is something about sharing your darkest thoughts with someone, opening up your heart knowing that your vulnerability can be used as a weapon.  When you share your darkest thoughts, let your guard down, bring your goofy unhinged self into spotlight, you are basically giving the other person power. Power to hurt you, power to lift you. Yet there can be nothing more precious than two souls connecting — understanding each other, accepting and even loving the follibles that others might find irritating. Love binds friendships, and trust keeps it alive. Being a good friend requires you to put your friends needs before oneself. To take turns to comfort, to listen, really listen, and never ever judge.

In this world where loneliness is rampant, where we are hesitant to even take our masks off for a minute, finding a true friend is a blessing that we cannot be taken for granted.