The search goes on ..

The other day, I finally had to admit that I was growing old - not just physically, but also mentally.Learning new things were not just as easy as it was 10 years ago.My memory and comprehension were weaker that what it was - basically my mind was slowly numbing towards the acceptance that I could no longer  keep up the pretense of being young anymore. There is nothing more liberating than accepting your limitations. Any other day, I would be a sucker for motivational and inspirational speech about how we should challenge ourselves, but today, right now , all I want is to acknowledge that the mental decay has finally set in.

It would be fairly disappointing if I never got to be old to the point that I could in reality or pretend to be senile. I would love to grow old, to be a "has been", to experience the final onslaught of age, to experience all the seasons of life and maybe look forward to the end. Everyday we store some fragments of wisdom from our experiences of life. We learn from our tragedies that life goes on -we learn to differentiate between calamities, and mere inconveniences. The more I interact with seniors, the more I learn that in the end all that matters is how well you have lived your life. The fallacies, the stubborn righteousness of youth, the seemingly age of responsibility in your mature years, the love, the heartbreaks , the health issues, the struggles all are just words in the story of your life. You are that story. That is all there is to life. Love and laughter, worries and stress, tragedies and tears all are not just lessons, but they are part of us. They define us.

I have met some amazing people, people that have touched my heart and changed my perspective about life forever. At the cost of repeating myself again, I want to emphasize that what makes us humans special, are our connections to our fellow humans.   No matter where we live in this world, we all share the emotions, although our thoughts and learned reactions  might differ. Our emotional response to tragedies, to happiness cross all boundaries of race, language and even age. The people who generally have touched my soul, are those who have opened up about real tragedies - and for me, nothing can be more tragic than losing your child, and how in spite of gnawing pain, they still have managed to live and love life.

At times I wonder at my quest in finding meaning to life, this urgency to explore and make some sense as to why we are here. Maybe life is just meant to be lived, to just take it as it is, with no questions asked. Or maybe life is more than that. All I know is, that we were meant to touch other people's hearts, to reach out, to connect  and share. To give and take, to love and be loved. In the meantime, I am still searching for answers, still quizzing about my reason to be here- now.