Older but not wiser

It has been a while since I was excited about growing another year older. I look back and all I see is a flash of life zooming past. Time, the rebel , teasing me by fast forwarding my year to "that time of the year " again. Time flies not when you are having fun, but when you want it to slow. Age is not just a number, and irrespective of what my heart believes or wants to believe, I will soon be a year closer to actually be called "old" .I don't mind growing older, I would be ungrateful if I did , but I do want the time to slow down - to savor every passing moment.

Another year older and not a day wiser. The only wisdom I have gained in the past year is that being wise is no fun. Be foolish and make mistakes. In the past one year I have realized that I am in charge of only my happiness. I have learnt that sometimes it is okay to let the heart rule over your head. Forgiving comes more easily and that there is a reason why our memories grow weaker as we age. 

My eyes have gotten weaker too and that helps when I look at myself in the mirror to uplift my self-esteem. My moral compass has grown flexible and nothing shocks me anymore. The desire to prove myself and my ambition is waning every day and my tolerance for inane talks and stupidity is decreasing at an alarming rate. My disdain for irrationality has reached a s point where I feel too lazy to even respond with anger. I  am turning myself to just being a spectator and observer of human follies, including mine. Some things like religion, and politics , which I would have passionately given my views on, I am slowly turning indifferent to.

On other hand, I find more interest in anti-aging products and "health" - a sure sign that I am fast approaching the peak of middle age. I am getting better at finding excuses to avoid  social gatherings and I am more comfortable than I was last year with my idiosynarcies. I understand that I am human and it is okay to be swayed into the realm of devil from time to time and so long as it is only in thoughts and not actions, it is okay. 

What I do want, hasn't changed much, only the desires have intensified with an urgency that is only possible when  with growing another year older. I still want to see every sunset, every sunrise possible , just watch the leaves dancing with abandoned joy,watch the petals bloom, and find rhythm in the raindrops. I want to watch the snow flakes melt as they hit the ground, and listen to the stream happily  maneuver its way around the rocks to go where it wants to.

I want to travel the world, not to see places, but to meet people and comprehend what makes us human. I want to experience freedom, a free mind, an open mind, to dissolve all the experiences of the past and live again. I want to be able to go on long drives, with no destination in mind.

Yes... I am another year older and   the desire to live life to the  best intensifies  every day.