" I learnt years ago that the key to be happy was not to give importance to what other people think as majority of them are idiots ". Your kids have the ability to astound you and although I always knew that my son was his own person, there was this new found respect for this kid who I now called a friend.
Life comes to a full circle when we learn from our children. Early on in life, I had decided to leave the communication doors wide open with the children. No subject was off limits and just as my dad did, I encouraged my kids to think critically and form their own opinions. Heated debates and arguments are common in our house and at times instigated by me, although there are times when I have wondered at my choice of parenting style. Communication is not one sided and to find common grounds, I have had to keep growing. Watching genres of superhero and sci-fi movies to listening to music that I found hard to relate to in the beginning, has all been part of trying to find avenues open to understand and respect interests that were relevant to them. Parenting is never easy. We all want to raise successful young adults and I would be a hypocrite if I said that I don't share the same aspirations as other parents. Yet, I have struggled to balance between what is perceived by society as success and encouraging them to find happiness.At times they can both align and you have hit the jackpot, at others you have to choose to follow your destiny, which might not translate into financial success instantaneously.
Hindsight is always clearer and there have been times when I feel that not all my decisions were the best. Yet, here I am revelling in the company of two young well-behaved and kind young adults, who although as diametrically opposite as two people can be, still share the qualities of kindness and integrity.
There have been times in recent years when I have wondered at the validity of my role as parent. The kids are independent and my role as a nurturer has diminished over the years. Yet, when my son failed his driving test today, it brought into focus that although I was no longer the lead player in their lives, my part as a supportive and unconditional cheerleader would always be in demand. As with other relations, the key is to respect their boundaries and accept them for who they are unconditionally. It is harder than it sounds, because we are so conditioned to be their caregivers, that it is easy to forget that they have transitioned into well adjusted young adults and like with any other adult relationship, the key to success is respect, adhering to boundaries and forgiveness. I see my role evolving as years go by - at times cheering from sidelines, at times staying in the shadows as other lead players enter their life, yet knowing very well there will be always be demand for unconditional love and support.
Life comes to a full circle when we learn from our children. Early on in life, I had decided to leave the communication doors wide open with the children. No subject was off limits and just as my dad did, I encouraged my kids to think critically and form their own opinions. Heated debates and arguments are common in our house and at times instigated by me, although there are times when I have wondered at my choice of parenting style. Communication is not one sided and to find common grounds, I have had to keep growing. Watching genres of superhero and sci-fi movies to listening to music that I found hard to relate to in the beginning, has all been part of trying to find avenues open to understand and respect interests that were relevant to them. Parenting is never easy. We all want to raise successful young adults and I would be a hypocrite if I said that I don't share the same aspirations as other parents. Yet, I have struggled to balance between what is perceived by society as success and encouraging them to find happiness.At times they can both align and you have hit the jackpot, at others you have to choose to follow your destiny, which might not translate into financial success instantaneously.
Hindsight is always clearer and there have been times when I feel that not all my decisions were the best. Yet, here I am revelling in the company of two young well-behaved and kind young adults, who although as diametrically opposite as two people can be, still share the qualities of kindness and integrity.
There have been times in recent years when I have wondered at the validity of my role as parent. The kids are independent and my role as a nurturer has diminished over the years. Yet, when my son failed his driving test today, it brought into focus that although I was no longer the lead player in their lives, my part as a supportive and unconditional cheerleader would always be in demand. As with other relations, the key is to respect their boundaries and accept them for who they are unconditionally. It is harder than it sounds, because we are so conditioned to be their caregivers, that it is easy to forget that they have transitioned into well adjusted young adults and like with any other adult relationship, the key to success is respect, adhering to boundaries and forgiveness. I see my role evolving as years go by - at times cheering from sidelines, at times staying in the shadows as other lead players enter their life, yet knowing very well there will be always be demand for unconditional love and support.
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