Analyze this

With the advent of Fall, you start to prepare yourself mentally not only to longer nights and gloomy days, but also to the fact that Autumn will inadvertently lead to long and dreary winters. I have always loved cooler and crispier Fall weather, but this year surprisingly I was in love with summer and have been feeling very reluctant to let it go. Human mind can conjure many scenarios - connections that would even put Freud to shame. I am very fond of self-diagnosis, Right from psychoanalyzing my behaviour, using the dubious online quizzes, to searching up on Mayo Clinic website, one the many, to give name to some of imagined and real symptoms. The results as you can guess can be either hilarious or tragic. For instance I have come to the conclusion that as summer represents youth, I am finding it more favourable than the mature Autumn. In short I am in denial.  This theory is just one of the many - some too outrageous when put in black and white. 

I can go from I don't care to do they like me within seconds - yes my brain can shift gears faster than a sports car. At times it does get exhausting to just catch up with the various fictional scenarios that my mind conjures. There are self-talk shows, soap operas, and even detective shows running simultaneously in my head. And before you judge me, no I am not crazy - at least that is what I have self-diagnosed myself as. I like to analyze situations, dissect my emotions and find reasoning in illogical feelings. The only problem is that I am usually left with half-baked theories and oveworked mind. It is as if the concept of professional help is alien to me. 

My self-diagnosis at times leads to self-medication. Websites, blog posts and Dr. Oz are your best friends  and when all else fails, you reach out to friends for help. My weak eyesight  has me buying readers from store - no prescription, my low energy level has me scouring through dozens of posts, only to find that all that research leaves me exhausted. I have read or at least browsed through all the potential self-help books- including how to make friends, how to make money and of course how to be a better parent The results for most parts have been disastrous - apart from some success stories, but the resilient me never gives up. 

I have tried DIY projects at home - and although there isn't much to show in terms of finished products, I do have a collection of memorabilia of incomplete projects.Over the years, you would think that I would have learnt my lesson, but at times I think that it is getting worse.I am unsure if it my basic lack of trust in other people's abilities or the allure of cost-effectiveness of doing it yourself or if it is one of my many idiosyncrasies, but it is definitely a part of who I am. I do wonder at times how far I would take this "I know it all" attitude, but I definitely see myself as a perfect candidate for euthanasia if needed in the future, exiting on my own terms