On a Friday evening, after a tiring week, when I am greeted by flyers on the doorstep, I know for sure that my kids have managed to skip, I dread to open the door, knowing fully well that kicked off shoes, peeled away socks and jackets that just happened to nap on the couch would be waiting to welcome me. Yes the kids are home. Soon the regular pattern of me yelling and whinning about how I do all the work in the house and the boys retaliating " mom you need to chill" will echo the house. In short, it was going to be just a regular ordinary day.
After a lot of soul-searching and intense internal debate and to end the arguments, I finally caved in and admitted that I needed some hired help to manage the upkeep of my house. I had steadfastly been resisting the temptation of someone else doing my chores. Firstly because it is not cheap, secondly I am pertrified of becoming habitual to that what is supposed to be an ocassional treat. We are designed for comfort and what starts as an occassional luxury, soon becomes a necessity.
I grew up in an upper middle class family in India. Anyone who lives in the subcontinent will vouch for the fact that maids and servants are not considered luxury. I grew up with never having to do any chores, although my mom ensured that we made our own bed and had basic survival skills like cooking. Our clothes were hand-washed by someone, our dishes cleaned, floors swept and mopped, and so were the washrooms. Basically, all the chores that you dread to do after coming from work, is done for you. Life is different over there and like my friends over there will attest it is an evil necessity. I concur - systems over there are not built for self-sufficiency . 21 years later, I still at times miss that luxury of just kicking back my shoes and doing nothing and yet there was this fear lurking that like an alcoholic falling off the wagon after a first sip, I would become accustomed to this luxury- and would not be able to go back to doing my own chores.
There is one thing common with people taking up cleaning jobs. They are comparatively easy money and many take up this secondary means of employment to supplement income to support their family or extended families back home. In Bahrain, we had male helpers from India. I had to ask one of the helpers if his wife or family knew that he cleaned houses. The answer, not surprisingly, was an emphatetic no.They would be horrified -men in India are treated generally like kings and housework has traditionally been women's domain over there. Same with Anita, who already has a primary full time job, but cleans houses to support her mom back in Phillipines. Her journey from Phillipines to Canada is a story for another time.
After a lot of dilly dallying on my part, we scheduled for Anita, to come in, Of course, I couldn't let her just come to a dirty house. So before she could start cleaning, I made sure that my house at least looked half decent, partly out of homeowners pride, and partly because she was still someone scoming ot my house for the first time. The moment I had committed to having her come over, I realized that maybe it wasn't the smartest of ideas. Maybe I wasn't ready for it yet and knew that for all my claims and fantasies about kicking back my shoes and relaxing while someone else did the cleaning,I just wouldn't be able to see through it. So there I was, working as hard as her on my day off, dusting and scrubbing alongside with her and by the end of 4 hours, deadbeat. Together we did get lot of cleaning - deep cleaning done. The bliss of a clean house lasted for a few hours, and horrifyingly soon became replaced by shoes and socks strewn over, jackets on the couch... you get the picture. Basically a well lived house .
After a lot of soul-searching and intense internal debate and to end the arguments, I finally caved in and admitted that I needed some hired help to manage the upkeep of my house. I had steadfastly been resisting the temptation of someone else doing my chores. Firstly because it is not cheap, secondly I am pertrified of becoming habitual to that what is supposed to be an ocassional treat. We are designed for comfort and what starts as an occassional luxury, soon becomes a necessity.
I grew up in an upper middle class family in India. Anyone who lives in the subcontinent will vouch for the fact that maids and servants are not considered luxury. I grew up with never having to do any chores, although my mom ensured that we made our own bed and had basic survival skills like cooking. Our clothes were hand-washed by someone, our dishes cleaned, floors swept and mopped, and so were the washrooms. Basically, all the chores that you dread to do after coming from work, is done for you. Life is different over there and like my friends over there will attest it is an evil necessity. I concur - systems over there are not built for self-sufficiency . 21 years later, I still at times miss that luxury of just kicking back my shoes and doing nothing and yet there was this fear lurking that like an alcoholic falling off the wagon after a first sip, I would become accustomed to this luxury- and would not be able to go back to doing my own chores.
There is one thing common with people taking up cleaning jobs. They are comparatively easy money and many take up this secondary means of employment to supplement income to support their family or extended families back home. In Bahrain, we had male helpers from India. I had to ask one of the helpers if his wife or family knew that he cleaned houses. The answer, not surprisingly, was an emphatetic no.They would be horrified -men in India are treated generally like kings and housework has traditionally been women's domain over there. Same with Anita, who already has a primary full time job, but cleans houses to support her mom back in Phillipines. Her journey from Phillipines to Canada is a story for another time.
After a lot of dilly dallying on my part, we scheduled for Anita, to come in, Of course, I couldn't let her just come to a dirty house. So before she could start cleaning, I made sure that my house at least looked half decent, partly out of homeowners pride, and partly because she was still someone scoming ot my house for the first time. The moment I had committed to having her come over, I realized that maybe it wasn't the smartest of ideas. Maybe I wasn't ready for it yet and knew that for all my claims and fantasies about kicking back my shoes and relaxing while someone else did the cleaning,I just wouldn't be able to see through it. So there I was, working as hard as her on my day off, dusting and scrubbing alongside with her and by the end of 4 hours, deadbeat. Together we did get lot of cleaning - deep cleaning done. The bliss of a clean house lasted for a few hours, and horrifyingly soon became replaced by shoes and socks strewn over, jackets on the couch... you get the picture. Basically a well lived house .
She is supposed to come in another 2 weeks and although I am still debating over whether to give this another try, I know for sure, if I do cave in, I don't want to be home when she is here. I am going to play smart and leave the keys for her. Ignorance is bliss - and I would rather just come home to a sparkling clean house than watch and participate in the process.
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