Of New Years and Resolutions

Time for the old to fade away and to prepare for the birth of New year. Every year's beginning promises us new adventures, new dreams and before long we are committed to do things differently or should I say better than we did the year before. I always end up making resolutions, have even ended up making a resolution of making no resolutions one year. How far I stick  to it, is anyone's guess as the resolutions seem to repeat itself every year.

But this year I have a set of resolutions that I hope to be my mantra for living. 2014 is the year to change attitude, to treat myself right and to  rise above myself. 

In 2014, I promise to 

1. Focus on myself and people who love me.

2. I promise to listen to only what I want to listen. Yes I am going to be Ms.Always Right this year. No more explaining, no more justifying my actions to anyone.

3. Forgive easily. I want to travel emotionally lighter. No more other people's baggages, no more living lives that are not mine. 

4. Laugh more , dream big and and rediscover faith.

5. Let gratitude guide me to leading a more content life. 

6. Be kinder to my kids, and remind myself everyday that it is indeed their life - I can love them, but not prevent them from making mistakes.

7.Be more easygoing and just let things take of themselves. 

8. Meditate on the impermanence of everything in life everyday, just to appreciate what I have, and know that tomorrow is another day.

9. Keep friends close to my heart. 

10.Lastly , but not in the least, I promise to love life, and go against my basic nature and be more spontaneous -the only way to live life. 

Love, life and happiness

No matter how bad your current situation is there is always something that is beautiful in it. Fact remains bad, good are all the terms that we give to our situations. Life is ever changing, we are ever changing, nothing remains the same. That is the truth, the ultimate truth. We are constantly resisting change, yet the key to living life is to flow like the water, find ways between the crevices, to just keep flowing. 

Searching for happiness, love or peace invites more strife in our lives. Every reality , every fiction, every pain and every joy is deep rooted in our minds. The key is to open up our minds and not only accept our transient nature in this universe but to embrace it with joy. Happiness is now and here, peace is accepting the situation and just having faith. And all this is possible only when we realise that love is the key to living. 

Love is so hard to define. It is not possessing someone's soul, nor somebody's body. It is not being with each other 24/7. Love is all that is good, love is embracing life, being joyful , being thankful. Without love in our hearts we are nothing. Love defines our very existence. 

Love begins with loving ourselves, not in the narcissistic way, but being genuinely thankful for this opportunity to experience life, for our very existence. Loving ourselves ensures that we feel we are blessed, that we lack nothing in our lives. Until and unless we learn to love ourselves and our lives, we will never ever be able to love others. You can only give what you have. Fill yourself with so much of love that it spills over to whoever you meet and whatever you touch. Be so at peace with yourself that only kindness and genuine concern radiate from your whole being. 

Loving oneself is not as easy as it sounds. Most of us are unkind to ourselves, we don't forgive ourselves and our failibbles are easily. Yet the key to living a happy life lies in loving ourselves and although the learning process can be treacherous, it is the only way to really LIVE life.So love your life, and love yourself, for no one else holds the key to your happiness. 

Redefining Success

“A man is a success if he gets up in the morning and gets to bed at night, and in between he does what he wants to do.”
― Bob Dylan

For long,our perception of success has been defined by what society terms as "high achievers". Success has been regularly been labeled with materialistic gains, accolades and of course our belief that the person has achieved a seemingly difficult task. Confident men and women, living a life of extravagance, flaunting their wealth and achievements as a symbolic mean of leading a life that is successful.

I am all for excellence, I am all for achieving high goals, without which human life would not have evolved for better.  Yet recently when someone's 15 year old committed suicide, because of failing grades, it broke my heart. 

Success is not just reaching your goal, but how well you cope with downfalls, and setbacks too. Each of us have some impediments that are blocking our way to lead a happy and fulfilled life. Success  for me is recognizing those blockages  and working our way either by removing them or working around it. 

We need to teach kids not only to value  excellence, but also the art for living life to the fullest. Learning to deal with setbacks, failures, is part of leading a successful life. It is not what happens to you that defines your character, but how you react to it.  Having grown up in an environment where success was etched out in very specific terms,  where your whole identity was defined in numbers , marks,or money, I still struggle to label my  life as successful.

Life is beautiful, life itself is an opportunity. A successful life is one that has learnt the joy of giving,loving  and thanking.Smile in the face of  life, laugh with it, feel the pain of fellow beings, share your passion and above all be true to yourself. A heart that can hope in despair situations, eyes that can see the silver lining in the clouds, and the  mind that is not ready to give up dreaming constitutes a successful life.

Add colours to your life, teach the kids that life is more than numbers, that success and failures are relative. Gift them the  key to living a complete life.





 

Contradictions in life

We are full of contradictions. We are the only species with the ability to communicate, yet we are still isolated in our own bubbles. We are intelligent enough to explore the space and celestial bodies, yet we struggle to find solutions in relationships. We are wise enough to know that life is short and unpredictable, yet we live our lives working as if money is going to secure our life on this planet for ever. 

Our emotions are conflicting, our thoughts too, a bundle of haves and have nots, a constant battle of rights and wrongs seem to rule our lives. Why is it that seemingly simple relationships, take a toll on our bodies and minds? Why are interactions with each other at different levels so complex ?

Human mind is not only intelligent, it is a jumble of emotions. Ever changing whirlpool of feelings, staggered into depths that can scare the bravest of us. In our quest to conquer the world, to understand and grasp the meaning of life, we forget to look deep into our hearts. Learning to be honest with ourselves takes practice and courage, because truth can be ugly and not so easy to handle.

Our mettle is tested with each challenge, and how we respond to it. Do we wallow in self-pity or do we accept responsibility? Do we count our blessings or do we just look for lost opportunities? Do we build our strengths or do we focus on our weaknesses? Failures break us, and over the time we have the opportunity to rebuild it with more awareness about our inner resources. Every closure forces us to reinvent and rebuild ourselves.

Ultimately, life is a just a series of incidents, go with the flow, let every event reveal the depths of your strength and widen your horizon.Life is beautiful, and the only way to enjoy it is embrace it with open arms and open hearts. Yet one of the hardest thing for a human being to do is to be open. Life is simple, organized to a certain extent , with natural laws and guidelines guiding all species to a certain extent.