Memory Catcher

We are collectors. We collect experiences. Sieving the good from the bad, carefully sorting them and storing them deep down somewhere in our hearts. Experiences taught by life, by people , some forgotten as mishaps, some reminding us to be on guard and others seeping  deep into our souls to change us forever.
Remnants of experiences are meant to be savored in our memories - we thrive on them. The inspiring moments, the fleeting impressions that somehow leave you transformed, the collage of pictures, the scars - visible and invisible  paint a picture of how we become as persons. What we collect is what we become. Collect happy memories to lean on when you need them... and you have a  treasure full of nostalgia to dig in to energize and move on
Be selective, before you store those memories. We have the power of imagination to water down the negative and to enhance the positive experiences in our lives. Visit the happy times more often, to soar high, and shrug off the negative memories, because it still has the power to influence us.  Our collection of memories are what we become in the end.
 Some people become a part of you - you don't forget them or remember them - they are just there. They might have passed away, they might not be physically present , but they very cleverly seep into your very soul to be there till the end.
Collectors always have a problem of not knowing though when to stop. Crowded and useless collection of people and memories will only drag us down by its weight. I prefer to at times just erase the unnecessary, retire the memories that no longer inspire or give me pleasure.
So guard your memories, cherish the happy ones,- they are your powerhouse of strength.

I have a collection of friends -some not in this world anymore, some too far away from me physically, some I am in touch with regularly, some not anymore, yet their influence on my personality can never be denied.

Packaged goods

Packaging, promoting, marketing - yes we all are products  and are as such required to brand ourselves and present to the world. Some people are naturally gifted and and are brash about their achievements while others are shy and prefer to keep low profile. Times have changed and humility is no longer considered to be a virtue. Presentation is considered one of the strengths.

So what about people who work and deliver results in professional life but are unable to brag about it or shout off the rooftops about it? What about people who are in the shadows in your personal life but refuse to effusively praise or blatantly display their popularity? Is there any hope for these people?

What you are and what you present yourself to be are two different things. We can magnify our strengths, distort our weaknesses, glorify our sacrifices to create a persona that hardly resembles what we actually are. Yet this is how most people will know you as. I read books, but to label me as bookwork would be unfair - implying that my knowledge is bookish is an insult to my intellect and also stereotypical.

Branding comes with its advantages - except for a select few - no one ever knows who you really are - you are well hidden under the wraps of gift wraps and packaging. Packaging that you choose  to pacify and please the audience  you are playing to. I can present myself to be an intellectual or a dumb person - but I am both actually - at times my wisdom surprises me and others I can't believe how stupid I can be. The ratio varies with situations and negates to making me an average ordinary person.

I refuse to be defined. If there is only one thing that I am passionate about and ferociously guard is my identity. My identity - fluid and colourless like water- undefined, , without a label, without a tag. How can I define or know myself when each day I grow and evolve into a different and hopefully a better person?

We are composite of different traits and characteristics and to label  someone with a characteristic that we are shown or prefer to see is foolish to say the least. 

Maybe that is why it is so hard for us to digest videos such as that of an executive who was caught on camera abusing a puppy or an athlete lying for years about drug use or in some cases committing crime. 

The art of doing nothing

There are days when I don't know where I am going . No plans,just floating aimless, when guilt and reason jolt me out of my peaceful stupor, instigating me to think, to plan, to reach somewhere. Reason comes with the ammunition of goals, success and achievement along with the super villain insecurity and fear. Yes they all come and mock at my seemingly happy life, taunting me to show what have I done with my life.

Isn't it enough that I am living my life, accepting whatever comes my way with open arms, I ask? Just   Accepting and adapting myself to whatever life brings me- no questions asked.  Don't get me wrong, I am all for dreaming big, setting goals that are beneficial to the humankind in general, but, I also have the wisdom to understand that what I want is not what I  will always get. Sometimes life offers more than I  expected and other times even the simplest of our desires are nullified.

The only key to living a happy life is to adapt to the changes that come our way.. Life is alive, breathing and unpredictable. You live it only when you communicate in the language it speaks, when you love it whole heartedly with all it's warts and flaws that are part of this gift called life. The  more you resist, the more you struggle, the unhappier you are. One day at a time, one breath at a time is  the only way to live.
The day when I have nowhere to go, no desire to be anyone, when I am at peace with my "now", not wanting or not basically totally unaffected with my past or future, is when I am happy. No desire to change, no desire for more, just plain and simple acceptance.

Life is beautiful, and the only way to enjoy it is embrace it with open arms and open hearts. Yet one of the hardest thing for a human being to do is to be open. Life is simple, organized to a certain extent , with natural laws and guidelines guiding all species.

Just let go

If there was just one quality that I had to choose that would lead towards happiness, it is cultivating the habit of letting go. Losses are part of our lives. We all go through financial, emotional and personal losses at various stages in our lives. Is there a way to avoid pain and loss? No, it is part of living and part of life... even the trees have to shed leaves, rivers dry up, oceans go through low tides, flowers shed petals. Things happen, things beyond our control.. death of close ones, broken hearts, broken trusts, disappointments, failures and experiencing emotions that leave us uncomfortable. We, human beings are complex. We have mourning  periods for people who pass over, we accept the grief and then live our lives. Yet when we face emotional loss, we like to play the victim.

We complain, wallow in self- pity and are outraged at our imagined privileges being revoked. Life is not fair- that is the truth. Karma is delusional... yes I honestly believe that life does not care or keep account of your good or bad deeds. There is no such thing as trade offs. The only trade off is that when you do good, you feel good and when you hurt somebody you  feel bad. This is all considering that you have a conscious that is alive and kicking. Bad things happen to good people all time, it always has and always will .

Living a joyful and full life requires us to stop feeling victimized. Mourn over your losses and get over. Letting setbacks and disappointments consume and bog you down is what negativity is all about. One of the way to get over is to stop being self-centred. The moment we realize that life and living is greater than us, greater than our problems, we can choose to not to wallow in self pity. We all have the choice to either drag all our negativity with us or to travel light. Choose happiness, keep seeking light, and in time of darkness, let the stars keep you company and if not remember to bring your own source of light. 

Momentary bliss

Water hose on full blast, coloured shredded pieces of balloons strewn on the driveway, 15 kids, drenched to the core - all freezing still when I drove up. I had my jaw open, not believing the unexpected guests. One look at my son's face full of fear , made me realize that not reacting would be the wisest decision on my part. Contemplating on the day's event made me realize that  this what memories are made of - kids deciding on the spur of moment to get together to prank each other, only to end up in a water fight - armed with bucket, water hose and of course balloons. Isn't this what life is all about?  All the phones, all their electronics were all forgotten in that moment.

We are all looking for ways to live our life well, yet our life ends up being a series of activities trying to make a living. Practically, making a living, paying bills cannot be ignored. As we grow older, we can hear sand slipping through our fingers, time chipping away our years, as we desperately work hard to accumulate and secure our life.  Is it because of our incessant multi-tasking in our day to day activity, our over-exposure to information or is it that we no longer have the time to sit down with just our thoughts.

Uninvited and unwanted thoughts, impersonating as vandals wielding knives of fear of insecurity. Life seems rushed, our sources of joy more inaccessible and dependent on either people surrounding us or material goods. Learning to find joys in simple living means unlearning all that we have be accumulated. Unlearning, dissipating the myths of permanence of our opinions, including our views of what constitutes and contributes towards our well being, is the first step towards freedom. Freedom from societal pressures, freedom from the bondage of what is expected from us, and just being true to the very core of our existence.

Views and opinions

Opinions are just that... Opinions. It carries no weight and rightly should not matter so. What you think is your viewpoint, we all have the basic right to think and derive our own conclusions.  Every kid,every adult should be encouraged to think and form their own opinion.  Facts and truth are not the same, and in the same way what I think is not necessarily right.

Growing older and being wiser, I also realize that keeping my channels opened to new information, and reserving the right to change my opinion is a part and parcel of growing up. Whenever we close our minds, whenever we our stuck with what we believe to be right, we reject so many opportunities to learn and grow. 

Years ago, I rejected hard rock music, deeming it as loud . But when I sat down with my teenager, to listen, to understand the lyrics, it opened up a whole new world to me. I wonder what if I had obstinately stuck to listening to only what I had heard when growing up. I enjoy discussions, enjoy stepping out of my comfort zone to grow as a person. Every day I am exposed to new facts, new information, new people and new opinions that change the way I look at world. If I am not the same, how can I still be sticking to the same old opinions? 

If there is one thing that I have learnt in life, it is to keep your mind open. Be ready to accept your mistakes, be fertile to learning new things. There is no right or wrong. Years ago the thought of eating raw fish was unbearable, now I love eating sushi. Embrace new experiences, even of it makes you uncomfortable..because that is the only way to grow. 

Connecting the dots

I had the pleasure of watching the brilliant colours of evening skies melting into darkness. Someone splashed the sky with hues of orange and reds and then decided to quietly ease the dramatic colours to subdued greys. The living and breathing skies ...For that moment - watching the sky hide its talent, made me realise my good fortune to play the attentive audience.

Every stroke painted on the sky, every song played by the breeze, every twinkle, evening light, all seeking our attention defines the purpose of our life. Each time I am invited and included in the show or concert of nature, I feel I am the chosen one and that the purpose of life is to applaud nature's shows. Whenever we are connected to nature in our own small ways - we are connecting the dots, being part of what we were meant to be, announcing in our own small ways that yes - we belong to this planet.

Yet there are some moments, some sights , some sounds that inspire awe in us - this sense of disbelief that we could be lucky enough to be part of this journey called life. In that particular moment all your worries dissipate, all your sense of accomplishment or lack of it become unimportant and all you are aware of is that life is so much greater than us.

Connect with nature to feel blessed, to understand that we are part of it and the rules that apply in nature applies to us too. The rising and setting of sun, the waxing and waning of moon, the falling leaves, the drying rivers, the flaming forests - all a reminder that losses, failures are as much a part of life as the magnificent beauty of  power displayed by nature.