The art of doing nothing

There are days when I don't know where I am going . No plans,just floating aimless, when guilt and reason jolt me out of my peaceful stupor, instigating me to think, to plan, to reach somewhere. Reason comes with the ammunition of goals, success and achievement along with the super villain insecurity and fear. Yes they all come and mock at my seemingly happy life, taunting me to show what have I done with my life.

Isn't it enough that I am living my life, accepting whatever comes my way with open arms, I ask? Just   Accepting and adapting myself to whatever life brings me- no questions asked.  Don't get me wrong, I am all for dreaming big, setting goals that are beneficial to the humankind in general, but, I also have the wisdom to understand that what I want is not what I  will always get. Sometimes life offers more than I  expected and other times even the simplest of our desires are nullified.

The only key to living a happy life is to adapt to the changes that come our way.. Life is alive, breathing and unpredictable. You live it only when you communicate in the language it speaks, when you love it whole heartedly with all it's warts and flaws that are part of this gift called life. The  more you resist, the more you struggle, the unhappier you are. One day at a time, one breath at a time is  the only way to live.
The day when I have nowhere to go, no desire to be anyone, when I am at peace with my "now", not wanting or not basically totally unaffected with my past or future, is when I am happy. No desire to change, no desire for more, just plain and simple acceptance.

Life is beautiful, and the only way to enjoy it is embrace it with open arms and open hearts. Yet one of the hardest thing for a human being to do is to be open. Life is simple, organized to a certain extent , with natural laws and guidelines guiding all species.

Just let go

If there was just one quality that I had to choose that would lead towards happiness, it is cultivating the habit of letting go. Losses are part of our lives. We all go through financial, emotional and personal losses at various stages in our lives. Is there a way to avoid pain and loss? No, it is part of living and part of life... even the trees have to shed leaves, rivers dry up, oceans go through low tides, flowers shed petals. Things happen, things beyond our control.. death of close ones, broken hearts, broken trusts, disappointments, failures and experiencing emotions that leave us uncomfortable. We, human beings are complex. We have mourning  periods for people who pass over, we accept the grief and then live our lives. Yet when we face emotional loss, we like to play the victim.

We complain, wallow in self- pity and are outraged at our imagined privileges being revoked. Life is not fair- that is the truth. Karma is delusional... yes I honestly believe that life does not care or keep account of your good or bad deeds. There is no such thing as trade offs. The only trade off is that when you do good, you feel good and when you hurt somebody you  feel bad. This is all considering that you have a conscious that is alive and kicking. Bad things happen to good people all time, it always has and always will .

Living a joyful and full life requires us to stop feeling victimized. Mourn over your losses and get over. Letting setbacks and disappointments consume and bog you down is what negativity is all about. One of the way to get over is to stop being self-centred. The moment we realize that life and living is greater than us, greater than our problems, we can choose to not to wallow in self pity. We all have the choice to either drag all our negativity with us or to travel light. Choose happiness, keep seeking light, and in time of darkness, let the stars keep you company and if not remember to bring your own source of light. 

Momentary bliss

Water hose on full blast, coloured shredded pieces of balloons strewn on the driveway, 15 kids, drenched to the core - all freezing still when I drove up. I had my jaw open, not believing the unexpected guests. One look at my son's face full of fear , made me realize that not reacting would be the wisest decision on my part. Contemplating on the day's event made me realize that  this what memories are made of - kids deciding on the spur of moment to get together to prank each other, only to end up in a water fight - armed with bucket, water hose and of course balloons. Isn't this what life is all about?  All the phones, all their electronics were all forgotten in that moment.

We are all looking for ways to live our life well, yet our life ends up being a series of activities trying to make a living. Practically, making a living, paying bills cannot be ignored. As we grow older, we can hear sand slipping through our fingers, time chipping away our years, as we desperately work hard to accumulate and secure our life.  Is it because of our incessant multi-tasking in our day to day activity, our over-exposure to information or is it that we no longer have the time to sit down with just our thoughts.

Uninvited and unwanted thoughts, impersonating as vandals wielding knives of fear of insecurity. Life seems rushed, our sources of joy more inaccessible and dependent on either people surrounding us or material goods. Learning to find joys in simple living means unlearning all that we have be accumulated. Unlearning, dissipating the myths of permanence of our opinions, including our views of what constitutes and contributes towards our well being, is the first step towards freedom. Freedom from societal pressures, freedom from the bondage of what is expected from us, and just being true to the very core of our existence.

Views and opinions

Opinions are just that... Opinions. It carries no weight and rightly should not matter so. What you think is your viewpoint, we all have the basic right to think and derive our own conclusions.  Every kid,every adult should be encouraged to think and form their own opinion.  Facts and truth are not the same, and in the same way what I think is not necessarily right.

Growing older and being wiser, I also realize that keeping my channels opened to new information, and reserving the right to change my opinion is a part and parcel of growing up. Whenever we close our minds, whenever we our stuck with what we believe to be right, we reject so many opportunities to learn and grow. 

Years ago, I rejected hard rock music, deeming it as loud . But when I sat down with my teenager, to listen, to understand the lyrics, it opened up a whole new world to me. I wonder what if I had obstinately stuck to listening to only what I had heard when growing up. I enjoy discussions, enjoy stepping out of my comfort zone to grow as a person. Every day I am exposed to new facts, new information, new people and new opinions that change the way I look at world. If I am not the same, how can I still be sticking to the same old opinions? 

If there is one thing that I have learnt in life, it is to keep your mind open. Be ready to accept your mistakes, be fertile to learning new things. There is no right or wrong. Years ago the thought of eating raw fish was unbearable, now I love eating sushi. Embrace new experiences, even of it makes you uncomfortable..because that is the only way to grow. 

Connecting the dots

I had the pleasure of watching the brilliant colours of evening skies melting into darkness. Someone splashed the sky with hues of orange and reds and then decided to quietly ease the dramatic colours to subdued greys. The living and breathing skies ...For that moment - watching the sky hide its talent, made me realise my good fortune to play the attentive audience.

Every stroke painted on the sky, every song played by the breeze, every twinkle, evening light, all seeking our attention defines the purpose of our life. Each time I am invited and included in the show or concert of nature, I feel I am the chosen one and that the purpose of life is to applaud nature's shows. Whenever we are connected to nature in our own small ways - we are connecting the dots, being part of what we were meant to be, announcing in our own small ways that yes - we belong to this planet.

Yet there are some moments, some sights , some sounds that inspire awe in us - this sense of disbelief that we could be lucky enough to be part of this journey called life. In that particular moment all your worries dissipate, all your sense of accomplishment or lack of it become unimportant and all you are aware of is that life is so much greater than us.

Connect with nature to feel blessed, to understand that we are part of it and the rules that apply in nature applies to us too. The rising and setting of sun, the waxing and waning of moon, the falling leaves, the drying rivers, the flaming forests - all a reminder that losses, failures are as much a part of life as the magnificent beauty of  power displayed by nature.

Make your own story

Isn't life just a series of moments connecting to make a story that is uniquely yours? Think about it, why is it when we lose somebody, we miss them so much? Why do some wounds although bandaged and safely medicated, never heal?

As human beings, our relationships with others are what gives our life a meaning. Every being that touches our soul, , isn't this what ultimately is life about? I believe that there are 5 essential rules to living a fulfilled life - 

1. Be true to yourself. We are not perfect, none of us are. Our flaws are a part of us, and they complete us. 

2. Be present : This is the hardest. But isn't being there in the moment, being present the only way to live? Nothing absolutely no moment can be replicated and that is the truth. Whether it is sorrow, or happiness, until and unless we give it our 100% we are not living . 

3. Let go : As much as I like to be in control, letting go of a situation, and just allowing universe to take its own course is the best solution. 

4.Adaptability : When we stop resisting change, and learn to adapt to new situations, living begins.

5.Love: Life is love and to love is life. We generally associate love only with human relations, but love is wishing good, seeing good and being joyous.

Welcome life, grab every moment of joy, and hold on tight. You are unique and your story is unique too.  Spread joy, and see it reflecting back tenfold times 

A place to call home

Lately a thought has slowly been gaining prevalence amongst all the other  emotions generally clamouring for attention. A feeling that I have tried to shrug off, brush away as irrelevant or just a fleeting emotion. But the more I try to ignore it, the more it keeps popping up.

Time and again I like to take stock of my life. The older I grow the more I realize the fallacy of analyzing  life,  or even basic emotions. Yet the older we get, the harder it is to get rid of old habits... And introspection is a part of me, which just refuses to let go.

In finding the recipe for happiness, I always underestimated or maybe refused to admit the importance of belonging. We all have our identities tied to our religion, region, our language or our blood ties. But when you are displaced, either by choice or forcibly, your survival depends on  your adaptability. Adapting means giving up on some of your old characteristics and blending into a society of your choice.

I have always struggled to belong.... The longing to be at home, to be myself , to be
at ease. We humans are insecure and always feel threatened by change. We like to stress on our difference rather than the commonality, maybe because the differences are what makes us belong to the herd -- our nationality, our religion or language. We are social, we live in groups and being an outsider can be a challenge.

Our desire to belong, to be accepted by our peer, to revel in the strength of similarity is what encourages us to conform to the unsaid laws of uniformity in society.

As I grow older, I have realized that the void of not belonging has been filled with empathy and kindness. Over the years I have accepted that I will be living on the fringe of society, I am too mutated to be accepted in any group or be a member of a herd. So I will be walking alone,secretly   always looking for the place that I can say truthfully is home